Proceed With Caution
by Tedd.E.Bare
Summary: My name is Anne Elliot, I am 25 years old, perpetually single and I'm going to Hell. Welcome to my life. A modernised adation of Persuasion by Jane Austen. Completed *several final chapters uploaded at once*
1. Chapter 1

**January 1****st****, 2012 (about 12.30 am)**

Kellynch House

Number of people at New Years party hosted by my older sister Elizabeth and my Father, Walter: innumerable.

Number of toasts made by my father since midnight: 3

Number of "Oh, Anne, how's the love life?" comments: too many

Number of decent songs on this playlist: still to be determined…

Time spent hiding in my study: most of the evening

Number of New Years resolutions I've made: 0

I hate New Years parties. I hate New Years in general. There's just something about the notion of 'making a new start' that doesn't sit well with me. I think it's because you only live once and starting again is actually not possible. I've become a bit bitter as I've gotten older.

My father loves to throw parties, he loves to be seen hosting important events that people would kill to receive invites for, he enjoys being seen in general. He's a bit of a socialite my father.

I've been hiding in my study for a while now, ever since before midnight was chimed in. I think I escaped the fray about five minutes to, very glad to escape the general ruckus that's going on in the ground floor of my family's home. I've never enjoyed the social scene, most of the people that come to the events hosted by my father aren't up for intelligent conversation regarding Shakespeare or share theories regarding Marvel comic movie adaptations. It's usually money talk, or gossip regarding whom has slept with whom, and who's expecting a large shiny rock sometime soon.

If I joined with such shallow conversation the only gossip I could add would be news that's five years old.

Not that anyone would care what happened to Anne Elliot five years ago. I mean, she's Walter Elliot's middle daughter, and middle children are notorious for being the forgotten child.

But, despite the fact that I love to have conversations in which I can reveal my inner-nerd, I just want to tell someone, _anyone_, my story.

Which brings me to alteration number one to my previous tally

Number of NY resolutions: 1

What is this resolution(?) I hear my computer ask me… I want to tell my story, and since I lack someone in my life who actually cares enough about what comes out of my mouth, I'm going to write it down instead. That way, in about 20 years time, when I've been consumed by my 50+ cats, there will be some record of my existence. Maybe this can be my life story, where it will be studied in schools many centuries from now, they'll be sitting in their space suits in their holographic classrooms, reading my story on eye implants that ensure the data is fed directly into their brains.

Now I'm just being morbid. Imagine HAVING to know my story. Eugh.

Okay. I'm really going to write my life story. And just so I don't chicken out, I'm starting it now.

My name is Anne Lucy Elliot, I'm 25 years old, and this is my story.

I am the middle of three children, and the only one of us who really resembles our mother. My two sisters take after my father in looks, both have blonde hair, blue eyes and have dainty features, my older sister Elizabeth takes after my father in personality as well, always desiring the spotlight. My younger sister Mary inherited a slightly different version of my fathers love of attention, she has a love of believing herself to be sick. All of the time.

I'm very different from my sisters. Elizabeth models expensive clothes, Mary married her college sweetheart three years ago and had children almost straight away (two beautiful boys so far, and a little girl on the way, due in April) and I threw myself into my studies about five years ago.

I keep thinking I've already mentioned the importance of it being five years since a particular event… but then I realise that it's from a previous attempt of me trying to vent all the things I've kept bottled up.

Yes, poor dear diary document, you're not the first I've started.

I suppose I should actually get to the pressing point of what actually happened five years ago…

I was at university, in my second year, studying English… and I was engaged.

Of course I had to be stupid enough to listen to my family's 'advice' and break it off, breaking my own heart in the process.

I will never forgive myself. He wont ever forgive me either. I don't blame him in the slightest, but I can't help but harbour some regret that things didn't end more civilly.

Fred Wentworth and I met inside the university library one windy afternoon in 2006, we were waiting in line for the automated book borrowing system and I, being the overachiever that I am, was overloaded with close to a dozen large textbooks and beginning to struggle under their weight (I was still three people away from being able to use the machine) and he was waiting in line behind me to borrow a single book on architecture. I don't really know if he felt sorry for the nerdy brunette midget that I am, or he was amused by the fact that the books in my arms went above my head, but he politely tapped my on the shoulder and asked if he could hold onto a few of my books for me. (I nearly kissed him right there and then.)

After that we met again at a party, we happened to have mutual friends and we spent much of the evening sitting at the counter in the kitchen talking about all the things we had in common. we shared a love of crime fiction novels, comic books, archaeology, Shakespeare and Dr Who. Before the evening was done, he asked me if I would like to join him in going to see the third X-Men movie as it had just been released (I said yes).

Thus began a whirlwind of romance. It was the best 15 months of my life.

However, my father, my older sister and my ever-present Aunt Ruth disapproved of him. Mary was away on a school trip, so she never met him.

In 2007 he proposed to me after an evening out…


	2. Chapter 2

**January 1****st****, 2012 (mid-afternoon)**

Kellynch house

Number of hangover, sleeping and snoring occupants in the house: 2 (though Elizabeth vehemently denies that she does.. Snore that is.)

Number of hours I've spent dedicated to cleaning up the mess from last night's entertainment: a fair few

Length of time it took for my father to escort me away from the computer after I started typing out the 'epic drama' that will probably end up being my eulogy: a few minutes.

Number of regrets in my life: 1, possibly 2 (depending on how this NY resolution turns out…)

In my last entry I got up to the point where I was being proposed to after a romantic dinner, right before my father's voice came over the whole-house intercom, his voice filling the room (I shrieked rather loudly, it was like being snuck up on by a Weeping Angel, or… no, Weeping Angel analogy works). He demanded that I rejoin the party and play my part (which is what exactly?!)

So, after saving this document I (very, very) reluctantly rejoined the mindless, noisy, socialite filled world that was the rest of our home.

This disaster (I'm exaggerating here, I'm just annoyed.) of a party could have been avoided if our mother was still here. Mum and dad divorced about seven years after Mary was born (and thus I always use this as a reason as to why my little sister is a hypochondriac), she had had enough of dad's flamboyant behaviour and wanted a quiet lifestyle. Poor dad never really stopped loving her, so when she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer when I was 14, dad ensured she had the best care. Not that it made much difference, by the time she had been diagnosed it was too late for treatment to make any effect.

After she passed away, dad took us on a holiday to Bath, we stayed there for about a year, until dad though he could cope with being at Kellynch House again. I hated it there. Despite the fascinating history, the people in period costume acting out various literary works… I hold no love for it. Ever.

At all.

Being back at home set dad off edge a bit, he filled his room with mirrors, as though seeing nothing but his reflection would drown out the fact that his soul mate was no longer around.

Things sort of went downhill financially from there. Mum used to be the one in charge of the accounts, making sure that we lived within our means (despite the fact we had rather a lot of 'means'). without mum to look after the money, dad sort of went a bit… enthusiastic with his spending… it was only aided by Elizabeth's love of buying a new outfit for what feels like very hour of every day.

To hit at the heart of the matter, we're not far off being broke. Yes I have my own income, Elizabeth has hers; both of us have legally untouchable (and I believe to be rather large) trust funds (they become ours when we get married, so Mary's already got hers); dad has his fortune from his acting days, but all the same, the amount in that once vast account is quickly dwindling to single digits.

Elizabeth has her modelling contract, so looking good (all the time) is a job requirement, she even sleeps in Gucci. This insistent compulsion of hers to look her best 24/7 has rubbed off onto dad, and nowadays, he's just as bad.

I'm not financial analyst, but I've looked at the yearly expenses for the main account. If we don't do something drastic, and soon, we're going to have to sell the house.

I did draw up some ideas when I was on lunch break at work, things like stock market investment, selling one or two of dad's vintage cars, Elizabeth selling 'old' clothes on eBay, not redecorating the ballroom and instead saving that money. However, all of those ideas were shot down straight up. Dad's cars were priceless and Elizabeth's clothes were definitely "NOT FOR SALE". the stock market idea was a potential goer until dad's lawyer came along and insisted that entering the stock market was a terrible idea and we'd lose more money than we earned.

So that was a strikeout on my part, I didn't tell them about the most outrageous idea I had come up with, I knew they'd never agree if I brought it up. Instead I went to my Aunt Ruth, my mother's sister and told her about it. Ruth has always been good at giving my dad good advice, and he listens to her because she has a similar approach to being responsible as my mum did.

Not that dad would ever _marry_ Aunt Ruth, but I think he appreciates her presence all the same. I admit to telling Ruth a lot of things that go on in my life, and for the most part, she's pretty good at giving the right advice. However after she advised me to break off my engagement to Fred (after I had already accepted), things got a little tense between us.

You have to understand my reliance on her advice… my first boyfriend proposed to me, when I spent all of my teenage hood believing I was unable to find love, and without a mum to guide me through the pangs of high school dramas and teenage crushes. My older sister had just been offered a huge modelling contract, my father was still grieving over mum's death, Mary had just met Charles (and were snogging at every available moment) and I, for the first time ever found myself in love with a guy who was just as big of a misfit as I was.

But I was only 20 years old, and had 'my whole life ahead of me', according to Aunt Ruth, and "throwing it away on an architecture student" was apparently a rather idiotic idea.

Yes, because spending the past five years of my life dealing with an incurable broken heart, anti-depressant medication and a psychotic over-spending family whilst being stuck in a menial job that bears no resemblance to my dream career is _just living it up. _

Really, YOLO.

Now if only I could time travel back five years and stop myself from breaking it off…

It shouldn't really come as a surprise that I ended up regretting taking Ruth's advice. I have it on good authority that my life is meant to suck. Why else would I be the middle child, the only one to resemble my mother, have a socialite family when it's clear that I am far too awkward to blend in with that crowd? It's a cruel sign from the universe that my existence on earth is meant to be sucky.

I hear the unmistakeable sounds of life. Sounds like I'd better go and make a post-midday breakfast for them.. The poor hung-over dears.


	3. Chapter 3

**January 1****st****, 2012 (evening)**

Kellynch House

Final number of rubbish bags filled: 14

Amount of forgotten coats, handbags and shoes: innumerable

Amount of times I was told to be a little quieter in the kitchen: 5

Amount of times I purposely made a loud noise in the kitchen: at least 7

Weather: perfectly sunny, getting a little chilly as the sun starts to set

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if my life turned out differently. I try not to stay onto the Fred strand, because that just makes me hurt. It's funny how much of a heartbreak can actually affect you physically, there are times where I'm thinking of Fred and I get a pang in my abdomen like I've been stabbed in the gut or something. It's probably my digestive system announcing its hatred for me, but I prefer to go with the 'even my body regrets my decision' notion.

The sunlight is currently streaming through the window in my study. I love to sit in that warm patch whilst I study. Hmm….

I took up an Arts degree majoring in English when I first started at university, and then after Fred, I threw myself into my studies, taking up a Bachelor of Environmental Studies after I completed my first one. I could have gone straight into teaching year before last, but instead I decided to stay at university and not 'shame the family name by working in a common occupation' (those are my father's words). I do part-time work at the local library, reshelving books, removing dog ears from the pages and making sure things are where they should be. It's not a great job, but it fills in the free hours between classes, meals and bedtime.

Dad would much rather see me doing PR work, or being an agent for some up-coming movie star or model. I told him that despite the fact I have enviable connections (that made him happy), working in public relations, or getting someone a part in a movie wouldn't really make me happy. Luckily, dad knows full-well how important it is in life to be 'happy' (coming from the man who is happiest when he is in the spotlight) he let the subject drop.

One person he pulled into the spotlight with him is his lawyers daughter. Mr Clay has a daughter (Penelope) who's about five years older than Elizabeth, and nowhere near as pretty. She's got some arts degree and father convinced her that he could get her on board with the brand that Elizabeth models for. She ended up working in the company in some high-up, editorial position (Walter Elliot's name still bears influence in the fashion world it seems). Now she and Elizabeth are inseparable. And insufferable.

Aunt Ruth is supposed to be coming over tomorrow morning, she's going to suggest my crazy-ass idea to dad and Elizabeth, hopefully it works and we won't have as big an issue with money anymore.

My insane idea is to move out of Kellynch into a smaller home, maybe closer to the city, or maybe we could find a small one in our suburb, and then rent out Kellynch House to someone. That way I can put a halt to the redecorating of a largely unused room, and hopefully put an end to the spiralling into debt issue.

I'm trying to decide what I'll make for dinner tonight… dad and Liz are still quite hung-over so it'll need to be quick and easy.. I might do pasta, or maybe I'll prepare kebabs… no. pasta.

Pasta and salad it is.

Hmm.

This whole new years resolution of telling my story has turned into a journal.. But I promise you, I'll insert things about my past as we go, it's kinda therapeutic to get this stuff out after holding it in for so long…


	4. Chapter 4

**January 2****nd****, 2012 (lunchtime!)**

Kellynch House

Aunt Ruth did it.

She actually did it.

She convinced dad and Liz that we need to move out of here and rent it out.

What a genius.

Well, I guess I'm the genius, but she's amazing to have convinced dad about it.

We'll be moving in a few weeks, once dad and Elizabeth have find a decent enough place that means they won't be sacrificing their dignity by living in smaller accommodations. Already they've narrowed it down to three options, either a large apartment closer London, a smaller house than ours that's only a few minutes drive away, or (the one I'm dreading), we'll be moving to Bath nearby to the place we rented shortly after mum died. I suppose I could always live on my own, or bunk with Aunt Ruth for a while, but in all honesty I fear that living on catered food will only cause my father and sister to delve deeper into debt. So it'll be safer financially if I go with them. Besides neither of them can cook.

Now that we have a plan of action, we need to start looking at possible tenants for this place. I think a family would love it here, the gardens are huge and there's plenty of space to run around, our old tree house is still useable and there's a swing set that just needs a little TLC before it can be used. Not to mention the front of the house is gated off, so small children can't run out onto the road. When I was younger I used to pretend that I was a housewife. I'd be in the kitchen, cooking alongside mum as she prepared dinner. Usually I'd be rolling out biscuit dough and pressing various cookie cutters into them, so we could have them for dessert. After mum left the kitchen became my domain, as I was the only one who had any talent for cooking. Once mum died, my father refused to even enter the room.

Speaking of food, now that the household has sufficiently recovered from the grandiose new years event, I made salad wraps for lunch. I was tempted to do the 'build-you-own' wrap and just take out the prepared components , but the hallway past Liz's room smelt of nail polish, so I figured I'd avoid the inevitable demand that I prepare them. Yum. I made chicken ones today, crispy lettuce, tomato, capsicum and a light (fat free) vinaigrette dressing. With father and Mr Clay discussing tenants and other things (which suspiciously sound like how much Botox dad can afford to get…) I brought them their lunch and they ate it in dad's study. Liz was on the couch blowing gently on freshly manicured nails, eyes glued to the television, I handed her the plate and she took it without a word.

So with my respective family members doing what they do best, I figured I should do the same. Except I don't have any assignments due soon, and the library is still shut until tomorrow because NY was a Sunday. So here I am, writing away on my laptop, munching on my wrap (extra chicken, less rabbit food and the creamy, completely fatty dressing that the other members of my family refuse to touch).

I wonder what I should do to prepare for moving out. I guess I'll have to give up my job at the library if we do move out of the suburb, I love my job, but I don't love it _that_ much. University isn't an issue since I have the back-up option of doing it online. Clothes are easy to take care of. So really, all I have to really remember to take with me is my pillow.

Oh joy.


	5. Chapter 5

**January 2****nd****, 2012 (evening)**

Kellynch House

Dad and Liz are going out for the evening. So I'll get the house to myself for the first time for a few days.

I go back to work tomorrow, so for the next few days there won't be much in the way of me updating this diary (?) of mine… so I feel as though I .. I don't know.. I wish I had more to say.

Well, I have lots TO say, it's just there doesn't seem to be any audience that would care about the things I have to say. I mean, in all honesty do my lovely future readers care about how I think the ending to Captain America The First Avenger (I cried so much) or how the Incredible Hulk was so much better than Hulk (despite the fact that Eric Bana did a good job).

I guess I'll.. Post updates about the house situation… I'm going to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**January 21****st****, 2012 (mid morning)**

Kellynch House

Forgot about this… oops. Well in my defence, it's been a rather busy past 18 days… I have a job to go to, a family to feed and my education to think of.

But in other news it appears that Mr Clay has found a tenant for dad. He's an engineer, married and has a twelve year old son and an eight year old daughter. That would cause no issue for me (dad had a bit of moment when he heard the word 'kids'), but the impressive display of aquatics I gave when Mr Clay said their name was what caused any iota of issue with me. Croft. It's Croft. Croft, Croft, Croft.

Probably should explain… Mrs Croft, Sophie.. Yeah, her maiden name is Wentworth… and she's the sister of my ex-fiancé.

OHGOODHEAVENSIT'SPROOFTHEUNIVERSEHATESME.

It took some time for Mr Clay to bring dad around (dad's never liked people who actually work for their money, or are intelligent, or an impressive mixture of the two…) but at the end of this month they are signing the contract to move into here… so to add to the workload that I have already, I am now in charge of organising the pack-up of the house.

Since most of our furniture is staying here, I really just have to catalogue what furniture/paintings/etc that we're not taking with us, and then pack my own belongings.

Dad and Liz have decided where they'll be looking for a house.. And (in line with my lack of luck) it's Bath. They've narrowed it down to several houses, and they're weighing up whether or not they'll need a four or a five bedroom house… Also, until Easter break, I won't be living there. Mary phoned us the other day when she heard that we were going to rent out Kellynch and demanded to claim me as a helping hand at least until she had her baby.

So… job, university, house, maid, ex-fiancé's sister. I don't think I've missed anything that the universe has chucked at me this past fortnight.

I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I need a prescription refill, or something stronger.

Or a different life, I'll take either at this point.


	7. Chapter 7

**January 31****st****, 2012 (Morning)**

Kellynch House

Today is the day, the Tuesday that we move out. My room has been emptied of all things me, and anything I know I won't need until Easter at least is being taken to Bath with dad and Liz. The Crofts were given a tour of the house last Friday, I was at work and Liz was at a shoot, but dad said that they were wonderful people (that means they're good looking) and that their kids were well behaved and because of this, he had no trouble with them living in his house.

It's really happening. Today is the day when my home no longer becomes my home…

I leave later this afternoon, since Liz is already at work prepping for a magazine interview, and Dad is supervising the installation of our stuff at Bath, I'm in charge of directing the removalists on what needs to be driven over. Mr Clay is currently at his office preparing the paperwork and lease agreement for the Crofts, who are set to arrive at about lunchtime. I can only hope we're finished by then. I've never actually met Sophie, or her husband, but I fear what Fred has said in regards to me.

I get the feeling that he never said anything, I mean with my family it's not as though they care enough to invest in asking how I'm doing (Aunt Ruth included, unfortunately) and they have never spoken about Fred since _it_ happened.

I feel like I'm reducing the best period of my life to an italicised two letter word, but there's no amount of descriptive words that will ever make sense of the most amazing thing that ever happened to me.

Eugh. I have to go finish up..


	8. Chapter 8

**February 1****st****, 2012 (evening)**

Mary and Charles' home in Uppercross

Oh I am so exhausted. After finishing up at Kellynch (I avoided the Crofts by about five minutes), I headed up to Mary and Charles' home. Of course, being the charming hypochondriac that she is, I was pestered about arriving so late in the day (it wasn't even lunch time yet..) and why it had taken me so long to get here.

To be honest I'd much rather this overwhelming 'Anne I need you' than what I get with dad and Liz… plus the two little boys are quite cute and Mary's lessened her usual 'I'm so ill' tirade now that she's nearing her due date.

The two little boys are one (Mark) and two and a half (Ryan). Ryan is the most hyper child I have ever met, but since he's cute that make's it all okay. Mark is currently teething, and Mary handed him to me almost as soon as I walked in the door, telling me that he needed an ice lolly whilst she cleaned up a mess that Ryan had caused in the living room.

Mark looked at me as I cuddled him, his blue eyes tearing up because of the pain. Poor kid. But once he's given an ice lolly and had the tears wiped up, he's no longer quite as upset. Instead he chose to slam his little head into my shoulder and stay there.

It turned out that Ryan, in all his toddler glory had managed to open the pantry, find the container of flour, and spill it everywhere.

He was sitting on the couch whimpering because he had just been scolded by Mary. I saw how far the flour had been spread, that telling off was justified.

But now the kids have gone to bed, Charles has consoled his wife over the mess and the fact he wasn't there to help clean up (I was, however, and since Mary's baby bump won't allow her to reach, bend or squat an any way, I handed back Mark to her and cleaned it up myself)

The best thing about Mary is that no matter how foul a mood she's in, or how ill she thinks she is, I can always seem to make her better by just being around. It's the only thing I've ever really succeeded at with my family, makes me feel needed.

She keeps telling me I should move in with them and become the kids' nanny (NO.) and that I could end up home schooling them (NO.) because they love having me around and always behave better for me (okay this one may be true, but NO.)

See, despite the fact that I do love them all, Ryan, Mark, Charles and Mary.. Constantly around, all the time. Will drive me insane.

They're just this happy little unit of a family, greatly supported by Charles' parents (Mr and Mrs Musgrove) and sisters (Lucy and Hannah, twins and 21). They live just up the road from here, and are always over visiting, making a fuss over Mary and the boys. I do love being around them, but it's that 'happy family unit that is so darn perfect it makes single people want to cry' kind of issue that I have with prolonged visits.

Mary has all the things in life I really want, but was stupid enough to throw away when I had the chance.

The Musgrove's invited us for dinner tonight since it had been 'far too long' since they had seen me, and they wanted to hear the latest news from my side of the family… not that there was anything of value to tell…

But as it turns out (can't you just here my bad luck laughing at me?), Mr Musgrove was also once an engineer, and knows Adrian Croft from his days of being in the industry. AND is quite eager to be reacquainted with him, since he hasn't seen him in a few years since he retired.

So, by the looks of things, no matter how I try to avoid all contact with the family of the man whom I still love, they're going to find me anyways.

Screw you universe. Really, you suck!


	9. Chapter 9

**February 4****th****, 2012 (mid-afternoon)**

Mary & Charles' house in Uppercross

So… I guess I should just bite the bullet and spit it out.

Fred Wentworth is staying at my old home.

The Musgrove's are now quite chummy with the Crofts, and they've invited them all over for dinner tonight.

Fred Wentworth is coming to dinner.

Mary and Charles are planning to go (and take me with them)

I don't want to go. I can't do this.


	10. Chapter 10

**February 4****th****, 2012 (evening) **

Mary and Charles' place

Okay, so maybe the universe's hatred for me has a limit. Although considering what's been going on since way before Christmas I don't think I could be blamed for thinking that I was going to incur the full wrath of some sentient being with a lot of control over the world…

Anyways, so yes, universe has a limit on how much it's going to torture me… about a half hour after I finished my last… entry, Mark came down with a fever, and combined with the cutting of his molars, he was in a state. Mary called Charles, who had been in town getting some groceries, and asked him to stop by the pharmacist on his way home for some pain relief medicine.

Mary was starting to lose her cool. Mark had been upset for virtually all of the past week, and Mary had barely left the house. She had been so looking forward to tonight because she hadn't met the Crofts (or HIM) yet, and was desperate to meet the people her sisters-in-law were always going on about.

When Charles came home he assumed that Mary would be staying home with the boys (which led to Mary breaking down in tears) before I volunteered to stay at home with them so Mary could have a night off.

So here I am, typing with one hand as I do my best to not move since I have a sleeping baby in my arms. Ryan went to bed about two hours ago, not long after having dinner.

It's nice to sit here in the quiet, listening to Mark's soft breathing… I've always wanted kids of my own, and despite me still being young enough (I'm only 25.) I feel as though I've missed out on my opportunity to be a parent…

I guess I'll just have to live with being Aunty Anne.

Part of me wonders what dinner at the Musgrove's would have been like tonight. What does Fred look like now? Did he bring his wife to Kellynch? (there's no way a good looking guy like Fred isn't hitched by now, despite the fact I've never heard of any announcements, and neither Lucy nor Hannah have mentioned a wife). If he IS married, does his wife know about me? What about his sister, has he informed Sophie and Adrian about the girl who used to live here?

So many questions, and so few answers to accompany them.

I at least know the answer to my first question… Dinner with the Musgrove's and Crofts tonight would have been absolute torture. I may have gone insane before dessert, just snapped and run away. Maybe..

Well, actually I probably would have just sat there, silent for the whole meal.. whilst dealing with all the looks of hatred that I know would be thrown my way (at least one..)

But, thanks to the high temperature of Mark's forehead, I didn't have to go through it… however, knowing the Musgrove's, they'll be waiting for the opportunity to introduce me next, since I (so conveniently) missed tonight's dinner.

Oh how can I prolong the time between now and a re-introduction to Fred Wentworth…


	11. Chapter 11

**February 5****th****, 2012 (morning)**

M&C, Uppercross

So, breakfast was pancakes, a la Anne style, and in return Anne was treated to a full rundown of last night's dinner.

Yippee.

It turns out Fred is still single, although it appears that Lucy has taken quite a shine to him, according to Mary. Both the Crofts, and their kids are apparently the best family Charles has met in some time, and announced that he wanted them to all go for lunch with us sometime soon, once the weather gets nicer.

Also, about five minutes ago, Charles remembered that he had invited Fred over to see what he thought of one of his renovation ideas for the back of the house… so in about five minutes time.. I'm going to be face to face with Fred Wentworth, after five years of not seeing his face.

… AND little Mark has started to fuss again, and Mary's calling for me since she's currently trying to wrestle Ryan into his clothes after his bath. Charles is currently in his man cave (I.e. his garage) digging out his blueprints for a remodelling job.

So, by the looks of it, I'm going to be holding a screaming baby when I see him for the first time in five years. Joy.


	12. Chapter 12

**February 5****th****, 2012, (about 20 minutes after my last entry)**

M&C's, Uppercross

It's done, it's done, it's done.

As soon as I picked up Mark from his play pen, there was a knock at the door, and Mary, having only just finished changing Ryan raced to the door him in her arms, and me right behind her just in case she broke her back or something (at 7 months pregnant this could happen).

I saw him (he's as good looking as ever), he came in with both Lucy and Hannah, and when Mary invited him in, he looked at me like he didn't know me. Of course that moment passed and he recognised me, I could see it in his eyes. He still hates me.

Lucy and Hannah came over to hug me, and told me that they had missed me last night and how much of a pity it was that I didn't get to meet Sophie and Adrian (and their kids), but that it was okay, because they had invited everyone (even me) to have dinner with them next week at Kellynch.

I take what I said earlier back, the universe doesn't have a limit when it comes to torturing me, it just likes to prolong my suffering.

It only took a minute, but between the time that Fred entered this house, and the time that Charles came in from his garage, I felt like all the good things in life had been sucked out of the room, just like a dementor.

My own personal dementor.

Oh, jeepers.

Can I never catch a break anymore (not that I necessarily deserve one, but it would be nice to have something go my way at least once before I die…)

Oh well, at least Mark still likes me.


	13. Chapter 13

**February 11****th****, 2012 (technically the 12****th****, since it****'****s after midnight.)**

M&C's house

Dinner was, surprising, not as awkward, nor as awful as I thought. My (completely rational) fear that Fred had told his sister and brother-in-law that I was spawn of Satan turned out to be unfounded, and Sophie was apparently anxious to meet me and see how I was doing, now that I was to be a guest in my own childhood home.

Turns out, being a guest at Kellynch isn't as weird as I thought it was going to be… The kitchen is finally being put to use again (after only having me and several catering teams in there for the past 10 odd years), and the whole house looks a lot nicer than it did when it was dad, Liz and myself. They were even nice enough to show me around and let me know where they've made any changes…

Adrian and Sophie are using dad's old bedroom, their daughter, Alice who's eight is in Elizabeth's bedroom, their son, Michael, who's twelve is in Mary's original room. It turns out that since my room had the best view of the back yard, they've converted it into a spare room.

No prizes for guessing who's currently using said spare room.

Nope, not even a congratulatory pat on the back.

Seeing Fred comfortably living in my old home, and knowing he was sleeping in the same room where I spent many (many) nights lamenting over the fact I had rejected his proposal (after I had already said yes) is.. Well it's weird.

At least dinner was nice. The big dining table got used for an actual family-esque dinner party for the first time since I was a child.

I was seated next to Alice and Mary (with Mark in his high chair between us), and I told Alice all about the tree house, and how my father had it built for Mary and I when we were quite little. Adrian had repaired the old swing set and it was a family favourite on sunny afternoons.

It makes me happy to know my home is in good hands…

After dinner we all sort of converged into the dining room, the big one, with my piano in it. Holding a now very awake Mark, I went and sat over on the piano seat to make sure it was still moderately in tune, before playing a small tune that caught his attention.

Sophie asked me if I played, and when I said I did, she asked if I could play something for Alice, who was apparently quite wild for music.

So, after handing Mark to his father I shuffled over on the seat so Alice could join me and I asked what song she'd like to hear.

I don't know what the Crofts are letting her watch movie-wise, but their parenting skills are spot on, that kid requested the theme song to Harry Potter.

Lucy and Hannah were sitting on the couch behind me, bemoaning the fact that they missed out on their Hogwarts letters (I feel their pain…) and talking about how they wished the learnt piano like I had done.

When it grew late, and the kids really needed to be put to bed, it was time for us to all head our separate ways. Before we left though Sophie gave me a huge hug and told me that I was welcome to come over at any time.

Okay, so Fred get's even more kudos for not making me out to be evil to the entirety of his family.

I'm going to bed.


	14. Chapter 14

**February 17****th****, 2012 (****'****prevening****'**** [pre-evening according to Dr Sheldon Cooper])**

M&C's Uppercross

So, with all the things going on in life, university, child-minding and the emotional trauma caused daily by a certain person's appearance, I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer work at the Kellynch library. It's getting too far to travel, and it's causing Mary grief that I'm never around between the hours of 10 and 2, which is when (apparently) the kids are at their most active.

Also, to add to my daily pain, Fred, Lucy, Hannah and Hannah's boyfriend Robb were around here a lot, not that their presence in general gave me pain, but the fact that Lucy was obviously making a move on Fred and he wasn't exactly blowing her off did.

Robb is a computer technician that occasionally comes into the library when the system crashes. He's pretty geeky, but that's all part of the charm that Hannah loves.

So, I've handed in my resignation to the library staff, and gone to uni to change my enrolment to an online delivery. So this allows me to be at Mary's beck and call until Easter.

And allows me to have more of my time taken up by entertaining my nephews.

This afternoon, when I was sitting on the couch cuddling Mark (who is still sporting a bit of a fever) the four of them came over, Lucy and Hannah went upstairs to find Mary and Fred and Robb took up residence on the chairs next to where I was seated. Mark started fussing again and as if on cue, Ryan waddled in and wanted a story to be read to him whilst being cuddled.

Of course, with my arms full of fussing baby, that's not all that possible.

But trying to dissuade a two year old that you can't read him a story is next to impossible. He started trying to crawl into my lap and push his little brother out of the way, despite the fact I kept telling him to stop.

Robb told Ryan to come over to him and he would read the story, but in all honesty Robb has never been brilliant with kids, especially ones that don't really understand English. So with Robb's attempt at helping went down the drain, I still had a two year old trying to push his brother off me.

It felt like a flash of bodies (DC comics come to life?!), but I ended up having the toddler removed, by none other than Fred Wentworth, who proceeded to read Ryan his picture book whilst I calmed down his little brother (turns out that teething babies don't like to be shoved by their older sibling… huh).

There are no words to describe how… weird/homely/nice/odd it was to see Fred read a book to a toddler. He just sort of.. Fit.

It wasn't until after Ryan had had his book read to him that the other girls came down stairs. Apparently future baby Musgrove had a kicking spree and Mary didn't want to move until she had finished her 'football practice' (Hannah's words). By then I had consoled Mark and put him in his play pen and Ryan had come to sit on my lap for his cuddle.

Ryan has the most gorgeous blonde curls (the blonde is from the Elliot side, the curls, the Musgrove's') and they're the perfect length to run your hand through. He's so cute when he's not going pycho.

Tonight the four are dining at Mary and Charles' with us, so once more will I have to sit through a dinner with Fred. Now that I've done it once, I think I can handle it a second time.. The shock value has worn off now and I've hardened myself against any looks I feel are sent my way…

Okay.. I can do this… I can do this.


	15. Chapter 15

**February 17****th****, 2012 (night)**

Mary and Charles' house, Uppercross

I take the whole 'I can do this' thing back. If I have to put up with Lucy practically making goo-goo eyes at Fred any longer I swear I'm going to implode. There may be a murder. Or a suicide. One of the two.

I probably shouldn't start talking like that again… my therapist warned me that if I started going down the self-destructive path again that he'd put into a mental institution.

I don't really know if dad would ever forgive me if the headline "Middle Elliot daughter Committed - Possibly Insane" got out into the media. I don't think he (his ever important reputation I mean) could handle it.

Anyways. Moving on, Lucy goo-goo eyeing Fred will drive me to drink, Hannah's confided in me that Robb's proposed, and they're not sure how to break it to their family, Mary's started getting those fake contractions (I was about to call them Heimlich contractions, then realised that wasn't correct, although if I wanted to get very politically incorrect I could say that technically her abdominal muscles are pulling a Heimie on her uterus)… AND my first round of assignments are due on Monday.

After 17 days straight of child minding.. I'm actually missing the silence that I usually find when I live with dad and Liz. Sort of.

After dinner I volunteered to put the boys to bed, and I spent as long as I could doing it… I just want to … leave. I miss my job, I miss being at uni doing my assignments in the library…

When I think of it, I kind of miss being in a place where I'm anonymous. There's the regular library visitors who know me by name, and my teachers at university, but all the others, the countless faces picking up books, or working on a computer next to me are all anonymous. They could be anyone. Hell, I could be anyone.

Eugh. My brain hurts.


	16. Chapter 16

**February 18****th****, 2012 (mid morning)**

Uppercross

There's been a suggestion made by Fred that we could all go down to Lyme for a couple of days, he has a few friends living down that way, and hasn't seen them for a few months. One of his friends owns a large Bed and Breakfast at Lyme and has welcomed us all to stay there.

Mary and Charles are weighing up whether or not to go, and since Mr and Mrs Musgrove have opted out already, the boys could be left with their grandparents for the week.

If they go, I'll be expected to go with them.

In two minds about this. Not entirely sure how I can cope with constant … Fred.

On the other hand, I do have a hankering to see the Cobb, I've read so much about it, taken the virtual tour on the website and hovered over it on Google Maps… plus one of my units when I was studying English was all about how maritime and seaside architecture was used in Victorian era literature.

I get the feeling that I'm going to end up going, I've begun to call that impending feeling 'what horror the universe is throwing at me today'.

I also get the feeling that I'm 100% right.

I think the universe and I are coming to an understanding now. It's going to throw a new shock at me, and I'm going to remember why I completely and utterly deserve it.

However, as long as they don't decide to go in the next… 7 days, then I'll be free to come without dooming my studies to perpetual failure (the first round of assignments will be done by then)…

But do I want to go, that is the question.


	17. Chapter 17

**February 26****th****, 2012 (morning/afternoon)**

Originally written on my phone in transit, but sent over as an email when we got to Lyme.

The road down to Lyme is amazing, all those green pastures! I can totally see why people thing the countryside is like a huge patchwork quilt…

It ended up being us 'young adults' going to Lyme, we're taking two cars, Mary, Charles and I in one car, and Fred, Robb, Lucy and Hannah in the other. I dropped off the boys to their grandparents' this morning before we headed off.

It Fred and I didn't have the history we have, it would be a huge fun week long adventure. But as it stands, this week will be everyone else enjoying their other halves (or someone who might as well be), whilst I enjoy the features and tourist attractions of the place we're visiting.

We've arrived! And of course, like all the literature suggests, it's quite gloomy, rainy and downright miserable. Just the way I like it.

We got hustled into the B'n'B and guided to our rooms, I've got a great view of the Cobb (best room in the house!) whilst everyone else gets other views, such as the town, the rest of the ocean view and the stretch of coastline.

Hannah stopped by on her way to hers and lamented that I had to be stuck with the view of that 'God awful walkway' (her words!), I just laughed it off and told her it was fine, and that I actually liked the view I got (she didn't understand why..)

It turns out the friends of Fred's that we're staying with are work friends, there's Harry Harville and his wife Molly, their three children, and Molly's brother James. Harry and Molly are the same age as the Crofts, (early 30s) and their kids in the same age group as Alice and Michael.

I get the feeling that James is fond of the constant gloomy Lyme weather. He looks no older than Lucy or Hannah, but that kid looks like he's seen hell.

When we assembled in the Harville's dining room after we put away out bags and Fred, of course being the common factor for everyone made the introductions.. And judging by the double glance I got from Harry, I get the feeling that despite Fred not confiding in his sister, there's at least one person I know in this room who knows about Fred and I.

I'm actually not that worried, since Harry knows next to nothing about me, except the fact that I broke the heart of one of his best mates, and I'm the heartless, soulless she-devil that will probably receive a tragic, humiliating death (provided by universe). Well, at least that's what I'm going to tell myself. It makes sense to me.

I've decided that as soon as this rain session stops that I'm going to go out to walk the Cobb. Thankfully the rain has sent everyone indoors, so I'll probably get the whole thing to myself! Can't wait!


	18. Chapter 18

**February 26****th****, 2012 (evening)**

Harville BnB, Lyme

Note to self, when you think you're going to get a good half an hour between rain periods in Lyme, think again. You get 15 and then the skies open up again. Which is ironic since I was halfway down the Cobb when it started up again.

So I arrived back at the Harville's, soaking wet and thoroughly frozen. Totally worth it though.

Now, post hot shower and post dinner. I'm ready to update on my day.

Fred has definitely told Harry about our past, but if I put myself in Harry's shoes and then look at me, well.. I'm basically a pathetic, nerdy shell of a human being who gets excited over Iron Man masks and Star Wars duelling lightsabers. What damage could I do, and to be fair, what human being is attracted to _this_ (I'm gesturing at my entire form at this point in case the reference wasn't clear…)?!

Anyways, I sort of get the feeling that Harry doesn't think I'm capable of being a heartbreaking demon since he's made no effort to make me feel like I've done something bad… which is rare, and actually the only other person that ever treated me like that is my therapist…

Bugger. I've forgotten about my appointment on the 28th. Crap! Eugh. I can't cancel. LAME.

How could I forget about my monthly visit to someone who spends at least an hour psychoanalysing me?! I've been doing it for four years! (okay, I should probably fess up to how this all started, long story short is I got really down, did something stupid and if successful would have been permanent, and Anne Elliot would have gone down in the papers as no more than a small one-page obituary in some nondescript newspaper. … okay, so maybe a little more than that, the stupid thing I nearly did was slice myself to pieces and waited for the bright light to come (or the fires of hell, either one).. But of course I chose the wrong day, and Liz burst into my bathroom adamant that I help her with her eyeliner because her make-up artist wasn't doing it right and that's when she found my drug addled self bleeding out onto the tiles. There. End of sop story episode.) So, since that fated day I have been seeing a therapist, father's orders.

I suppose I could just go up for the day and come back… Charles would totally lend me his car…

Yes, I think I might do that.


	19. Chapter 19

**February 29****th****, 2012 (evening)**

Lyme

I keep forgetting it's a leap year.

My appointment yesterday was fine, Charles lent me the car and I was gone for only 6 hours…

It only took six hours, but from the time that I left to the time I came back the whole mood of the group had changed.

I… did not mean to leave my dementor behind.. Promise!

But really, they were all pretty much as glum as I usually am.

Well, Lucy and Hannah were at least.. The guys were nowhere to be seen, and Mary and Charles had gone to see some of the shops.

After asking them what was the matter it turned out that Hannah had finally told her sister about being engaged, and Lucy's response wasn't quite as congratulatory as Hannah had hoped.

Instead of being super happy for her sister Lucy had decided to go for a run, in the middle of the road. In traffic. She almost got hit by a car too. If it hadn't been for Robb who pulled her out of the way.

The mood has apparently been rather, awkward since then. The guys came back, Robb looking like he just lost his favourite USB and Fred looking like he's regretting asking us to come to Lyme.

So, using all the people skills I have, I got Lucy to come sit with me in my room whilst Hannah locked herself and Robb in their room. I could hear Fred outside the door, but at that point in time I didn't think twice about it, Lucy needed to be given some advice.

Turned out she was just jealous, she always thought that Hannah and her would always find someone at the same time, and be married within a short space of time from each other.

So, with all my extra five years of wisdom that I have over her, I told her straight out that sometimes life just sucks that way, but that sometimes good things come our way even when we don't realise it, and if we're not intelligent enough to hold onto it, then we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Okay, I didn't say it exactly like that, it was more of an 'it's okay, it's not the end of the world, there IS someone out there for you. You'll find him eventually and when you do you'll be more grateful because you waited' etc, etc. BUT I still maintain that I included my initial claims about life sucking and good things slipping away.

I then left Lucy in my room (who was slowly falling asleep) and then went to console the other twin. As I opened the door to my room I came face to face with Fred, who was not-so-subtly listening at the door, I told him to leave her for now and walked straight past him to go see Hannah.

Hannah was (understandably) really upset with her sister, but after talking and listening to me she agreed to go and make it up with Lucy.

Turns out Mary and Charles didn't know about any of this episode, and both of them swore Robb, Fred and I to absolute silence on the matter, and rather than risking WWIII, we all pinky sweared our promise to never tell.

But it's put quite the dampener on this week's trip.


	20. Chapter 20

**March 2****nd****, 2012 (mid-afternoon)**

Lyme

Mary's announced she feels like she's about to go into labour, despite the fact she's not due for another 3 odd weeks. She's freaking out quite a bit, and so Charles, Mary and I will be leaving Lyme a day or two early. As in, 20 minutes from now.

The others are staying for a couple days more, and we'll see them next week.

By this time next week, Lucy may have ramped up all her courage and Fred Wentworth may no longer be single. At least, I'm assuming that's why she's so adamant about staying when we're thinking of leaving.

I don't even want to think of that now.


	21. Chapter 21

**March 3****rd****, 2012, (morning)**

Mary and Charles' home, Uppercross

Turns out the whole MARYGOINGINTOLABOUR thing was just her hypochondria resurfacing.

On the other hand however I received a text five minutes ago from Lucy, it read "hey Annie, took your advice to heart, you're the best xx"

Am I meant to find something reassuring and heart warming in that?!

I'm going to eat breakfast.


	22. Chapter 22

**March 3****rd****, 2012 (still morning)**

M&C, Uppercross

The weather is matching my mood. Now all I can think of is whether or not the newest couple in the family is my sister in law and my ex-fiancé. It's making me anxious because if it's true then I don't know how I'm going to be able to cope with it.

Easter isn't for another month, but a part of me wants to go now.

I need cuddles.


	23. Chapter 23

**March 3****rd****, 2012 (afternoon)**

M&C, Uppercross

I wish there was an onomatopoeia describing the sound a person makes when they shove their face into a pillow and groan loudly.

Nyaaaaaaaaaaaruuuuuughhhh. Maybe.

I miss my piano right now. It's always been a therapeutic thing for me, well that and cooking, but I still manage to do a fair bit of that with Mary being ordered to rest.

Actually, segue into new topic, I looked at my script for my meds, has Dr Reynolds upped my dosage?! Am I really that screwed up? Don't answer that, it's rhetoric. The answer is unequivocally YES.

I've got 5 weeks left in Uppercross, I've also got 24 hours until Hannah, Lucy and their… beau's come back. Which one, which one.

Which one am I more scared of?

I mean, both will come to pass, but which one do I dread more?

I'm in a mood. Must be med time.

I've been scrolling though my few photos of Lyme, despite the.. Events that happened, I actually really liked it there. The Harville's were lovely people, the scenery is amazing and I actually enjoyed my brief time there.

There's one picture I have of the Cobb, I got it just as it started to rain, and it's the view of the ocean and the Cobb, and the few smatters of rain that was falling.

That one's becoming my laptop's background picture.. Probably.


	24. Chapter 24

**March 9****th****, 2012 (mid-afternoon)**

University library

There's a guy in the library sitting two seats down from me who's watching My Little Pony videos on YouTube. There's another guy, who's three seats down, next to the My Little Pony guy who's clearly on Facebook updating his status about the guy next to him. Actually the Facebook guy is kind of cute, he sort of looks familiar, but I don't think I know him.

Whup, Facebook guy just looked over my way. There was a moment. A passing, fleeting moment in which we shared amused glances over the My Little Pony guy. He definitely looks familiar, but he's sort of got that look that screams "I'm very rich and won't settle for less", so chances are high someone he's related to knows either dad or Liz.

Heck, he's probably one of Liz's exes.

Ah, there's a ring. Married. Facebook guy is taken.

Now I should probably focus on this presentation on the effects of light pollution.


	25. Chapter 25

**March 9****th**** (evening)**

M&C, Uppercross

So, as I was leaving the library this afternoon the Facebook guy was packing up, the My Little Pony guy had moved onto playing some death metal dubstep rather loudly via his huge headphones (that guy is going to send himself into a seizure) and Facebook guy smiled at me.

Why am writing about this. I have no idea who he is. Plus he's married. There's a ring on the crucial finger. He's married.

I don't even know.

In other news, turned out that nothing ended up between Lucy and Fred, instead she's found a willing admirer in the quiet, nerdy, gloomy looking James Benwick - Molly Harville's younger brother.

Yeah, I know. Talk about the spanner. That was the most unexpected thing I have ever encountered.

AND. AND, get this right, Fred ISN'T CUT UP ABOUT IT.

Honestly you'd think the bloke hadn't even been flirting with her like crazy for the past month.

I'm so confused right now. I've been mulling this over since they came back, and I can't work it out.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.

DARN YOU MARY AND YOUR FAKE CONTRACTIONS. I MISSED THE LINCHPIN TO THIS RELATIONSHIP.

Okay, my caps lock rage moment is over.

I'm.. relieved actually, I mean, Fred is still available (not that he will ever forgive me) and Lucy is looking happier.

Actually, speaking of being happy, Hannah and Robb announced their engagement to everyone! Turns out that Mr Musgrove already knew (Robb asked him for his permission/blessing) and everyone else gave their congratulations, even Dad and Liz sent a card (I know, I'm surprised too.. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to wrangle a birthday card out of those two?)

Engagement party is set for a fortnight after Easter, but they're having it on the weekend, so I can come too!

Nope. Still not over James and Lucy happening.

I am never going to get over this.

Ever.


	26. Chapter 26

**March 23****rd****, 2012 (mid-afternoon)**

M&C, Uppercross

It's happened, after several weeks of uteri Heimlich manoeuvres (I know, I know they're technically called Braxton-Hicks contractions, but really, c'mon, uterus Heimlich manoeuvres sounds so much cooler.) Mary has had her baby girl. Of course she was a couple weeks early, but I guess that cute little baby was just couldn't wait.

You know those babies that everyone says are cute, but in reality they just look like baby monkeys with an extra dose of wrinkly skin. Well baby Ava is definitely not that kind of cute. She's the genuine kind of cute, with a little button nose, and the trademark Elliot blonde hair.

When she and Charles went to the hospital yesterday evening, I stayed at home with the boys, Hannah, Robb, Lucy and Fred. We ended up playing a game of twister, had tacos for dinner before I put the boys to bed.

THEN (and here's when things get utterly crazy) Lucy decided that I needed a haircut.

Yes, that's right. She demanded that I sit on one of the kitchen counter stools whilst she set to fixing my hair with a pair of scissors that she just happened to have with her.

My long, boring brown, split ended hair… is actually a lot better looking.

I mean, I gave her strict instructions to not even consider giving me a bob, or a fringe, bangs or a mullet, but other than that she was more than welcome to do whatever she wanted.

I don't know how to describe it really, but since my hair length was previously hovering just above my waist, had more split ends than celebrities have had messy, public divorces (combined).. But now it's nicer.

It's not life-alteringly short, but it's definitely easier to look after.

I like it.

Fred complimented it saying that I now looked like how he remembered me. Well, I took it as a compliment because taking it any other way hurts. So, yes. Fred complimented me. Sort of.

It's been decided that I'll still move to Bath after Easter, but I'll stay here until then to help keep the boys in check.

Fred's going to stay his older brother, Edward for a few weeks so he can work onsite to develop the designs for some new building, so I probably won't see him again once he's gone, because he's not coming back until after Easter.

I don't know how I feel about that.

I mean, I'll never know if I would ever be able to restart what we once had, I know I don't deserve it. But I know now that I don't want to lose him.

And again, I don't know how I feel about that.


	27. Chapter 27

**March 24****th****, 2012 (morning)**

M&C's, Uppercross

I tell you what, cuddles with Ava make me clucky. I now officially want babies.

I realised I only have a fortnight left here in Uppercross, Fred leaves today, I'm spending this afternoon making engagement party invitations with Lucy and Hannah… and I am definitely in want of my own babies.

She's just so small and cute! Thankfully Mary's hypochondria has disappeared for now, she's far more interested in being mother for now. I think having another girl in the house will make things easier for her, I mean having three males in the house can't be easy to handle (and trust me, I've grown up with a self-obsessed father and sister plus a hypochondriac baby sister, all of them practically abandoned by the matriarch of the family. I understand 'hard to handle').

I got a short email from dad last night, they're settled in at Bath, Penelope Clay (gold digging BFF of Liz's) has been living in with them since Liz was adamant to not be without her best friend. So when I do arrive at the house I'll be demoted to living in one of the guestrooms.

I'm going to be a visitor in the house my family lives in. If I had a choice (and despite the fact I do, I can't financially cope with rent, nor do I trust Liz and dad to be left to their own devices…) I would live elsewhere, far, far away from Bath.

But, alas, as my luck deserves, to Bath I will be heading.

I told you time and time again, the universe HATES me.

I also hear 2 small boys calling for me to give them some love.

Note to self: next time mention Eli Rogers (the Facebook Guy) introduction. It's really good. Juicy details.


	28. Chapter 28

**March 24****th****, 2012 (still morning)**

M&C's, Uppercross

Okay, so now the boys are settled and cuddled and what have you, I need to write about Facebook Guy. I MET HIM THIS WEEK. As in, properly introduced to him! We got to talking outside the library on Thursday and I totally forgot about it until now. Apparently his father, Ben Rogers used to work for my dad, but after dad missed out on getting an audition for a part in a movie that he wanted, dad sacked him. Which is a little unfair because a) I've never heard of "To Make Love Fair" so b) it probably ended up flopping anyways. (honestly, with a title like that...)

Yes, so Eli Rogers, aka Facebook Guy knows of me from a friend (he didn't say who), as well as WHO I am due to familial connections. Joy. He is a bit cute, he's Liz's age though, and.. Very like her in personality. But rather than modelling, he's doing some business degree.

He seemed pretty eager to be reintroduced to my family, despite me telling him that they've moved to Bath. He seems nice enough, but there's something sort of off about how he acts when he talks about my family.. I don't know.

So yes, Facebook guy has a name and a history with me. All I need now is to discover how My Little Pony guy is connected to me and we will have gone full circle.

Woo!

Okay, now I need to go do some of my assignment on the media's portrayal of the global warming issue.


	29. Chapter 29

**April 5****th****, 2012 (mid-morning)**

M&C's, Uppercross

The day has arrived. I'm now officially on Easter break, and I leave just after lunch for Bath.

I don't want to go anymore. But I've overstayed my welcome really, and it's time to let Mary have the full run of being mum to all three kids.

Plus the planning for Hannah's engagement party have pretty much been finalised, and there's nothing for me to do here now except to nanny for the boys.

Everything is packed, Everyone's having lunch at Mr and Mrs Musgrove's today, the Crofts are invited, James Benwick has even come to visit from Lyme to meet the Musgrove family and spend some time with Lucy. I'm really keen for lunch, Mrs Musgrove always makes amazing food (benefits of being a retired chef…) and her home made tzatziki is to die for.

I have to keep reminding myself that Fred is gone. Chances are high I won't see him again. He's gone to stay with Edward in London, I'm moving to Bath.

I wish I had fixed us. I wish a lot of things. But with the universe's love of me, I know a lot of wrongs will never be set right. But knowing that doesn't stop it hurting.

I mean, from what I've gathered there's a chance he'll be and Hannah and Robb's engagement party, but that's a fortnight away.

I can't do this. I can't. My head feels like it's spinning from the mix of hope and despair and I don't know what to do, how to feel or how to act.

I'm just going to… put my laptop in my carry case and worry about this once I'm in Bath.


	30. Chapter 30

**April 8****th****, 2012 (early morning)**

Camden Place, Bath

Happy Easter. This is my official holiday greeting to my family. I get to write it since neither dad nor Liz are here. Liz is at some swanky modelling luncheon party with Penelope and Dad's off discussing some film role for what he's described as being 'on par with Potter'. So I'm home alone whilst Liz is getting drunk and Dad's preparing to play wizard (at least that's my impression of the role) on Easter Sunday.

It's fine. I'm fine. Totally fine.

Not to mention that it's raining. Not soft drizzling kind of rain that you see in movies or what I had at Lyme, no, this is full on 'go outside and be bruised by raindrops' kind of rain. The windows are almost straining with the force of the rain. Even the wind is gushing along today. So I'm staying in and working by the fire.

A fire that I started and have maintained thankyou.

Man, I do make a good fire. I can even toast marshmallows on a fork. Yum.

I got a phone call from Mary this morning, they were going to have a picnic with the rest of the Musgrove's and the Crofts. I miss Uppercross. I miss having that feel of a family. A proper family, not the fragments of one that I have got.

Actually, I still can't get over the fact that my doc has upped my dosage. I think they're working, but I have been told that there will still be down days.

I probably should admit that after my mishap in the bathroom… I was in hospital for a few days and the doctor there told me that after I was released I was to either see a therapist regularly or be admitted into a psych ward. I (obviously) chose the former and was subsequently diagnosed with depression, and then medicated.

I've been mostly okay since then, I've been careful to keep everything under wraps. It's not like I'm ever in the media, but I know that things would go sour for dad if some gossip magazine were to catch the headline of me being off my head.

I know this doesn't justify anything, but in my defence, that night would have been Fred and mine's third year anniversary, it was only a couple of months after I rejected his engagement AND I was rather, rather drunk.

Okay. I'm done with this. I really just want to leave all of this behind. Move forward, and move on.

My whole life has been nothing but a big pile of disappointment and dashed hopes; an overbearing family that couldn't even work as a cohesive unit, a mother who was fed up with our father and so abandoned her three daughters because she couldn't deal with his lavish lifestyle and my own future is so uncertain.. I'm not sure what kind of career I'm going to get out of an English Literature degree as well as an Environmental Science degree.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!


	31. Chapter 31

**April 9****th****, 2012 (morning)**

Camden Place, Bath

I've spent the past 24 hours writing up my life plan. If I say so myself, it's pretty good.

Okay, here's a list of things I want to accomplish before my time is up:

1)finish this environmental science degree

2)get a job that I qualify for, based solely on my education

3)Tell Fred everything

4)visit Lyme again

5)move into my own place

6)break free from the family

So, it's not as long as I've made it out to be, but it IS a good start.

I leave for Uppercross on Friday for the engagement party, so there's a chance Fred will be there, so there's an even smaller chance (but a chance nonetheless) that I could cross number 3 off of that list.

Of course, I've discovered that dad and Liz have been invited too (and… they intend to attend). So I'll drive them up and they'll stay with Mary and Charles, so I'll probably bunk on a couch somewhere…

I'm not even going to think about sleeping arrangements yet. I just want to get out of Bath already.

It's funny, a week ago I was keen to get out of Uppercross, but now all I want to do is go back. At least I knew that my face was welcome there.

It's not entirely as though I'm unwelcome here.. Except neither Liz nor Penelope or even dad have made any effort to make me feel at home in Bath. It's like they've forgotten how awful it was to be here for several months on end when we were all still coping with mum's death.

But at least I did manage to squeeze a 'hello' out of them all when they got back to the house at Camden Place… a short, terse ungrateful 'hello', but one nevertheless.

Still, Uppercross beckons.

I have 4 days until Uppercross. Just 4 days.

I can totally handle that.

If only the incessant rain would stop.

Well… at least it's giving me the excuse to stay in and get my next lot of assignments done.

Assignments in Bath. This is what my life has been reduced to.

Something I hate doing in a place I despise. See, Universe just keeps on piling the hatred.

I've also been replaced in regards to the kitchen. Since dad and Liz are now in a smaller house, and don't have extensive gardens to care for, their house staff has been considerably reduced and now rather than having several gardeners, landscapers, house cleaners, renovators and interior designers on hand… they've gotten themselves a caterer.

Yes, the one thing I was good for, and now they pay someone else to do it.


	32. Chapter 32

**April 10****th****, 2012 (mid-afternoon)**

Camden Place, Bath

Sweet mother ship of all invading alien species.

I... I… I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW.

I'm so excited! Yesterday there was an advertisement in an online newsletter I subscribe to for an environmental journalist who would be working alongside some scientists doing research on the human impact on the Atlantic Ocean.

AND I QUALIFIED FOR THE FIRST ROUND OF INTERVIEWS.

I have no idea whether or not I'll even be good enough for this job, but oh it sounds amazing! And the pay packet that goes along with it isn't too shabby either.

Imagine, Anne Lucy Elliot, Environmental journalist, published in distinguished journals of the science world.

Yeah. That sounds good. I do like that. Dad couldn't even find a fault in that because I would be contributing to society in a positive way that puts me into the spotlight (somewhat).

Hmm.

…

…

…

Um. What the heck am I going to wear?

Oh no.


	33. Chapter 33

**April 10****th****, 2012 (mid-afternoon.. About an hour after my last entry)**

Camden Place, Bath

I know she may be queen bitch, but Liz has amazing clothes.

Even for hand-me-downs, the clothes she's given me are still better than… 100% of my wardrobe.

She's even given me shoes.

Wow, I really do need to update my own wardrobe.

Seriously. How old is that sweater on my bed?!


	34. Chapter 34

**April 11****th****, 2012 (Late afternoon)**

Camden Place, Bath

Um.

So.

Well.

… I got the job.

It wasn't the 'first round' of interviews as I supposed, oh no, it was the ONLY round of interviews.

And I'm it.

They're going to fast track my degree so I finish in May rather than next year. SO I not only have a guaranteed job, but now they've cut off a year from my degree (whilst still graduating).

I'm practically dancing in my chair right now.

Liz was a bit taken back earlier. She was munching on some celery and non-fat cheese dip in the kitchen when I got my acceptance call.

I… may have tackled her and told her that the clothes were the reason I was now employed. I think she took some comfort out of that.

Dad said he was pleased, but his face didn't move. He's gotten work done… again.

Why did I not send Aunt Ruth with them or something. They will never stop being such excessive spenders. If Liz get's married she'll have access to her trust fund, but I think that'd be her absolute last resort. She doesn't like being seen with the same guy for very long.

I. Have. A. Job.

I'm on the road to independence and success!

I'm going to an engagement party on Saturday and if Fred is there I'm going to confront him.

I've come to the realisation that the only think I need in life is oxygen, food, shelter and the occasional human interaction. I do not need Fred in my life, no more than I need fancy shoes or lipgloss.

No, I don't need him, I want him.

Isn't that a touch more romantic.

That is sarcasm by the way. I am fully aware of the low chance of 'us' ever happening again.


	35. Chapter 35

**April 13****th****, 2012 (evening)**

Mary and Charles' house, Uppercross

Dad and Liz will be in the two spare rooms, so I'm on the couch tonight. Everyone's gone to bed since tomorrow's affair is pretty much an all day thing.

So I'm just lying here, Ava is asleep, and will probably be up in a couple more hours, the boys will probably be awake a few hours after that.

Oh Aunty Annie isn't going to be getting much sleep.

And not just because of small children.

Fred Wentworth is back. He and the Croft clan came around to Mary and Charles' for dinner and got to actually meet dad and Liz properly.

Which was a tad awkward.

But dad seemed to like Adrian and Sophie, afterwards when we got back here he mentioned that he was surprised to see an engineer who didn't look like he'd been spending his entire adulthood using a welder without a mask.

I'm not entirely sure what he meant by that, but I think he means that Adrian isn't as God-awful looking as he'd assumed.

Then again, I'm not entirely sure that dad knows the difference between all the different kinds of construction workers. He usually just lumps them all into one big category called "people who actually work for a living".

Oh Fred. Even Liz was nice enough to say hello to him. Despite the fact she kept sneaking glances at me.. Who ended up sitting opposite to him at the dinner table. I can't be certain, but I get the feeling she remembers him.

Not entirely sure how I feel about that.

But dad definitely doesn't remember him… nope. That was a huge contributing factor to all the weirdness experienced tonight. Dad. Engaged. In. A. Conversation. With. Fred.

It was about set design, oddly enough (trust dad to make things about him), but it was an actual conversation about how film sets hire architects to design lightweight buildings, houses that allow for the camera dolly to get in etc.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS. Fred, by all rights should despise my dad (Aunt Ruth's part in the original issue notwithstanding) for telling me that if I married him I would have been entirely cut off. Not just financially either. (you know, back then I didn't even KNOW I had a trust fund, so I was fully reliant on dad to put me through university.)

Hmm. Before I come up with any theories which will end up being totally incorrect. I am going to sleep!


	36. Chapter 36

**April 15****th****, 2012 (very, very early hours of the morning****…****)**

Kellynch House

Don't even ask me how I got to be sleeping in my old home. Don't. Even. Ask.

But I will say this. Who knew complete nerds like Robb and James could dance so well?!

The whole-day engagement party was amazing. There was so much dancing, food and fun. I did mention that Fred was there, right?

Well Fred was there. As were the Crofts, and all the Musgrove family and their cousins, and even James Benwick and the Harville's were invited.

It was truly an awesome day. One of the Musgrove cousins (there are a lot of them) who lives down at Winthrop swing danced with me for most of the old fifties songs. I babysat for him and his sisters once. It's weird to see him as a grown up now.

But I swing danced a few, and then slow danced with Michael Croft, who is 12 and refused to dance with his sister when his mother demanded he get up for at least one dance…

Then afterwards the Crofts and some of the Musgrove's with small children came around to Mary and Charles to play on their huge (and mostly unused) playground area.

Which is how I get into the explanation as to how I ended up at Kellynch House.

With me sleeping on the couch since both spare rooms are taken up (and there is no way Liz will ever share) it didn't take long for Sophie to notice the extra blanket and pillow on the couch, and then not long after for her to ask who was couching it up.

And then once I had admitted it was me, she told me that since there was always room to spare at Kellynch, and since it was my former home, I should come back and stay there for the weekend.

AND THE OH LORD ABOVE - I SAID OKAY.

So now I'm in one of the spare rooms of my old home, over looking the east side of the garden, whilst Fred is sleeping in my old room, which faces the backyard.

Yeeeaaaaah I'm probably not going to sleep.

So I'm going to go play Solitaire until my eyes hurt.


	37. Chapter 37

**April 15****th****, 2012 (a decent hour of the morning)**

Kellynch House

Oh good Lord. Let's play a game, I'll describe something, write some ellipses dots and then give you the answer:

What was I not expecting when I stepped out into the hallway this morning?

…

…

…

A. Shirtless. Fred.

Sweet mother ship of all alien spacecrafts.

I don't know what he's been doing but… hot damn.

There's some real definition there. I'm talking you could grate cheese on those abs.

I'm not even going to deny that I back tracked quickly into the room and had to wipe the trail of drool off of the floor.

Okay I didn't really. I actually sort of stood there.. Unable to move. Quite transfixed on the fact that my shirtless ex-fiancé somehow managed to get even more buff than the last time I saw him without a shirt.

So he's not crazy buff like the guys who go to the gym all day, every day. But, you can tell it's no couch potato.

Oh wow. Just. Wow.

Who knew that me spending the night at my old home at the invitation of Sophie Croft would end up with me physically bumping into abs that would rival Adonis'. This time I'm not even exaggerating.

Yes, I speaketh (writeth?) the truth, not only did I SEE what Fred packs.. The universe decided to throw in an extra morsel for me today…

Okay so I'm going to have to elaborate on this:

I step out of the spare room to head downstairs. I get to the top of the stairs, me not paying attention out of habit (I know this place so well I could play hide and seek blindfolded and win no matter which one I was doing). I bump into Fred Wentworth who was coming from downstairs, obviously having just completed a run.

I ACTUALLY BUMP INTO FRED WENWORTH AS HE MADE HIS WAY UP THE STAIRS.

I am not overreacting. Merely reacting more than I need to.

Pardon whilst I delve into the inappropriate side of things, but bumping into a hot, sweaty and incredibly fit male human specimen made this female human specimen hot and sweaty.

And I'm not even ashamed to admit it.


	38. Chapter 38

**Author's Note:**

Now I'm not one for lengthy author notes (which you would know if you've made your way from start to finish, rather than just clicking the button..), but I feel that an issue has cropped up that is driving me absolutely INSANE.

Reviews. Now I understand that sometimes you just want to read and not have to deal with giving the author feedback. Let's be honest here though: I thrive on feedback, both good AND bad. Even flames work. I get it, yes, this is not the greatest story ever (a pistol-whip across the face would be more subtle than that admission), but please take the few seconds to leave a thought - either good or bad.

I'm begging you all here, On my knees and hands clasped: PLEASE review. This story's had over 1000 views already and 2 reviews, yesterday it was 500 reads and none; so help a struggling student and help her regain some ego. It really doesn't put you out of your way too much, and you're more than welcome to review as anon/guest. JUST PLEASE SPEND A FEW MOMENTS REVIEWING.

* * *

**April 15****th****, 2012 (evening)**

Kellynch House

Okay, call me crazy, but I'm starting to think that something is up with the entire Musgrove family and the Croft's and the Harville's. They're up to something. I'm convinced of it.

I just don't know what.

Everyone ended up having a late lunch here at Kellynch, the kids went wild in the playground and we had a huge picnic out on the grass.

Dad and Liz excused themselves from coming, telling everyone that they needed to get back to Bath because they had to 'work'. Liz I can understand, but dad hasn't accepted an acting role in a long time… so I'm not entirely sure if he said work as in 'I've taken on a role' or work as in 'I gain nothing from attending this gathering so I'm not attending'. your guess would be as good as mine.

Back to the conspiracy theory I'm building, I'm sure they're all up to something. No one's birthday is coming up, so it's not a surprise birthday party shindig; Hannah and Robb are having a nine month engagement, so it's too soon for the bucks and hens parties.

Time for miss investigative journalist to do some investigating.

Speaking of my newfound profession, the Musgrove's and Croft's and the Harville's are all so happy for me, I did look over to Fred when I told everyone, but I couldn't read his face, he was.. Blank. I'm not going to stress about it too much though, a job is a job and he has his, so why shouldn't I have mine. Besides we're not together so he has absolutely no say in the events of my life.

YES, okay, I'm trying to convince myself here, but it's true!

I don't need Fred in my life, but I do want him to be.

I know that this is how I feel.

I am still pretty much in love with him, but I don't know what he feels, has he even forgive me? I'm fairly certain that he has, or is at least okay with being near me.

I leave for Bath in the morning. I don't really want to go, but Mary, Charles, the whole Musgrove clan and the Crofts have been considering making a trip someplace soon, and Mr Musgrove has a timeshare lodge out that way that would accommodate them all.

Just imagine how horrified dad and Liz will be to have their in-laws in the same place for any length of time.

I want it to happen so I can appreciate it.

In other, less complicatedly annoying news, I've been teaching Alice some piano songs on my piano; she's a natural! I wish I had her talent, she's picked up four songs since I've been here and plays them better than I can.


	39. Chapter 39

**Author's Note:**

Still not a huge author note person, but I would like to pass on my thanks to the lovely few people who were obviously guilt tripped into reviewing since my last update slammed you all down for not doing so. This chapter contains a bit of a signal boost for the Lizzie Bennet diaries (of which adore), it is in no way endorsed by the LBD team and is only included because I love that vlog so darn much. Also, the dates for video uploads are correct, the third entry didn't come up until 16th April (American date). However I'm going on Australian time and dates (and I'm +10 GMT, so I get LBD updates the next day, so I got the third video on the 17th my local day, so I'm technically going off estimates here)

Anywho: don't forget to read and review!

**April 16****th****, 2012 (mid-morning)**

University library

So I've gotten hooked onto this Youtube channel, a modernised adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, the Lizzie Bennett diaries. It's only just started, but I am already hooked! It's so well produced too! The third one is supposed to come up in a few hours time, when it's the 16th in America. I don't want to wait!

Maybe I could start a vlog. Or maybe not… I don't exactly have any luck with media. I consider myself lucky that my iPod works. Honestly, the amount of times I have dropped that poor thing…

Anyways, back to Anne. I drove to uni this morning, my car is still loaded with all of my stuff that I took with me to Uppercross, I'll continue onto Bath after I've submitted a few things and talked to the degree co-ordinator about my advanced graduation. I have a meeting with the co-ordinator and my employers in about an hour, so I'm trying to remain calm, and not let my excitement cloud the fact that I HAVE A JOB.

Oh man, I get to meet with the board of directors after my meeting today, and then I'm getting the full tour of their local research facilities, then I have another meeting with the head of the research department and we talk journalism and what my job will actually entail, which, from what I've gathered is merely to work alongside the guys who type out the findings and compile the data into publishable format, then write out a simplified (I.e. dumbed down) version of the findings and then send it off to the magazines and websites of the scientific community which from then on will be published and distributed to the wider community. With my name attached, of course.

It's still a (really well paying) job.

And it's still mine.

I never end up did talking to Fred, there just never seemed to be an appropriate time to tell him about everything. But since I'm now back in Bath, and he's still in Uppercross, I guess the time will come eventually. One day. Maybe.

I've started to think that maybe I should look at moving away from home, or where dad and Liz are now living. The idea of renting my own place is starting to grow on me, and if I had my own place, then I would be free to travel wherever my job required me to go, and then not have to worry about dad selling my stuff accidentally. Plus living in Bath is starting to trigger a few things I'd rather leave buried.

I've got an appointment in a few weeks, and I'd really like to be able to say that I've been able to deal with the trigger points of memories of mum's death.

I've only ever admitted this to two people, Fred and my shrink, but Mum got really bad towards the end, I don't mean health-wise, I mean personality-wise. She was really angry and bitter about everything. Sometimes I'd sit with her in the hospital after school and all she would do is tell me how much she hated having her life wasted, and how she had been destined to do 'great things for the world' but being married to dad, and by extension the socialite life, she never got to do the things she really wanted to do.

Which I think is a little unfair to be perfectly honest. As a socialite woman she had access to a lot of money, a lot of influential people and many opportunities to do a lot of good in the world. Instead she spent all of her time married to dad wishing she wasn't married to him.

Their divorce was pretty public, made even worse when she made it clear she didn't want custody of us three. I was only 10 when it happened.

Liz, who was old enough to know what was going on (she was 13), told Mary and I what was going on, that mum wasn't staying with dad and she didn't want us to go live with her.

We were devastated.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my mum, and still do. However no one recovers from something like that. When I got a little older, before she found out she was ill she had barely anything to do with us. Never went to Liz's teen model competitions, nor my piano recitals or even Mary's elementary class production.

Dad managed to make them all, even though it was always grudgingly, but he still put aside the time to come to the important things in our lives. Mum never did, never even drove us to practices, or dress fittings, never asked about how well we performed, or what we were excited about doing, she sort of just.. Did nothing once she divorced dad. She stopped being his wife, stopped being our mother, stopped caring and stopped existing.

So as much as I love her, thinking about mum, about living in Bath for a year after she passed, about all the things she said to me in the privacy of the hospital room, all the times she said she was going to come and she didn't.. just makes me mad.

Of late I've been thinking what life would have been life if our mum was different, if she and dad were still together, if she hadn't died, if she had bothered to put in the effort to get to know her children before it was too late.

Even if she was an overbearing mum like the kind in the Lizzie Bennet diaries. Investing in our lives a little too much.

I know I can't change the past, only determine how well my future goes, which is why if I ever have children of my own, I'm never going to divorce their father. I'm never going to leave them before they're ready for me to let go of them. I do not want any child of mine to deal with what I had to.

Okay, so refocus Anne, focus on meeting with the co-ordinator in.. T minus 10 minutes.

Okay. I can do this. I can do this. I am compartmentalising all the sucky things in life. Think positive, stay positive.

Hmm, alright, time to pack up and head on over to the board room.


	40. Chapter 40

**Author's Note:**

So how _does_ it feel to chew 5Gum?!

..sorry. The ad for that brand of chewing gum was just on and I couldn't resist.

You know what I hate about life. HOW HARD IT IS TO ORGANISE A DATE WITH SOMEONE YOU LIKE. Tell you what though, Royal Launceston Show makes it just that little bit easier. Let's see if I can coerce my gentleman friend to go on the Ferris Wheel with me. ;)

Welcome to Chapter Forty peeps, bit of a milestone here.

Don't forget to read and review you lovely intelligent readers.

**April 16****th****, 2012 (evening)**

Camden Place, Bath

The meeting went really well, I'm graduating next month, the CEO of Atlanti-Tech companies met with me today, we went through all the legal requirements and talked about the kinds of research I'll be reporting on. My job is exactly what I thought it was going to be, simplifying raw research data and formatting it into something fit for pubic consumption.

I am so keen to get started! Apparently the science crew has been out dropping censors into the Atlantic ocean for a few weeks now, and data recording has begun. I don't specialise in ocean currents, but I know enough to keep up. Plus it won't hurt that once the initial data has been recorded one of the specialists will be working with me to help make sense of all the numbers and graphs they'll have.

ARGH, I am so excited! I am moving forward in the world!

Plus the pay bonus he gave me as a start-up is (possibly) enough for me for me start looking at a flat to rent.

Should I start to look for my own flat? I mean I've been thinking of the pro and con list, and so far the pros outweigh the cons. Firstly I'll be making sure it's out of Bath, possibly close to Uppercross, in case Mary has one of her moments or needs a babysitter; two, I won't have to worry about my things being sent to the Salvos, thirdly no more Penelope Clay. That girl has been hanging around a fair bit, and just because she's Liz's best friend, it doesn't mean she should be practically living in our house.

I think, I think I will look for my own apartment or something. I'm 25 years old and I should be out on my own, exploring the world and making a name for myself. I want to do something with my life that won't turn me into my mother. Or Liz, or Aunt Ruth. I want to be me, just me.

Oh, I just got a text from Mary, they're coming to Bath next week for the trip they were talking about taking… so they're coming up to Bath… all of them. The Crofts, Musgroves and Fred.

Hannah wants to start looking at wedding dresses and there's a couple of great bridal boutiques here in Bath, so chances are high we'll probably go and visit them.

Eugh. Can I just, for a few moments express my absolute hatred for having Penelope Clay in this house. She is an absolutely, completely frustrating bint of a human being. No brains. No brains whatsoever, not even an iota of common sense of the way things work in a house. She attempted to use the dishwasher, overloaded it, and then wondered why nothing was clean.

If evolution is real, that woman is either the missing link, or missing a few links up top.

My bet is on the latter. There are definitely a few crucial brain cells misfiring. Or missing altogether.

Hmm. I've gotten in touch with one of the girls I went to school with who is now living in Bath. Jean Blye was one of my closest friends in high school, we made up two thirds of the nerdy-intelligent girls in our year level. She's living out near Gay street in one of the apartment blocks with her fiancé who works in construction.

We're meeting up for lunch Friday afternoon after I've finished Uni for the week and before the whole Uppercross clan arrives for the week on Saturday.

I'm really excited to see her, aside from Melanie Frank, she was my only real friend in high school who wasn't using me as connection to the limelight.


	41. Chapter 41

**Author's Note:**

So the ferris wheel thing never eventuated yesterday because the Royal Launceston Show didn't have a single ferris wheel in sight. So we went on the Gee Whizzer instead which made up for it. Centrifugal force combined with close proximity, adrenaline rush with the speed and gorgeous weather.. i'm sure i can work with that... Not exactly romantic by any stretch (unless you count us sharing a bucket of chips and me cowering behind him to avoid the snake handler guy who was convinced I wanted to pet a 5 foot python...), but it was the best afternoon I have had in a long time… plus we talked heaps and made fun of the invisible dairy goats… ahh good times, good times.

Now someone recently reviewed that there was a time-line mistake with Mary being away on a school trip when Fred was around.. Firstly, thankyou for reviewing, and secondly, for the most part she was a way AT school, but when Fred was introduced she was away on her school trip.. But a 15 month school trip would have been amazing. I want to go to that school.

Don't forget to read and review you lovely intelligent readers.

**April 21****st****, 2012 (lunchtime)**

Camden Place, Bath

Okay, so before I update you about my lunch with Jean yesterday let me first update you about how I 'bumped' into the Crofts and Fred this morning.

So I've started going for morning runs, basically I'm dressed in full length leggings, a baggy sweatshirt (that's at least two sizes too big), my hair is pulled back in whatever way I can get it to stay off my face and neck and I'm wearing my scruffy old runners that were once white. By the time I near the end of my run I'm red in the face, hair frizzy and I'm soaked through and dripping with sweat. I'm definitely not at my most presentable at that point in time. Basically, when I run, I run like I'm fleeing a horde of Dementors, Zombies, Usain Bolts and Uruk-Hai; I go all out.

So this morning I'm waiting for the pedestrian light to go green at an intersection and I realise that the faces in the car right next to me are familiar … which was a tad embarrassing. Made even more so by the fact that all five of them were looking at me. I had Sophie, Adrian, Alice, Michael and Fred looking at me, whilst I'm puffed, sweating and dressed in clothes that Liz refuses to even touch. I wave, smile, acknowledge their presence with a nod, then the WALK sign goes green. Off I go, I keep running, really, really wishing I picked a different route to run this morning. Or at least brought my long-suffering iPod to keep me occupied so I wouldn't have noticed my surroundings… and therefore wouldn't have noticed the car next to me, or the occupants of said car.

So, that's my embarrassing story for today.

My lunch yesterday with Jean was brilliant. It was so lovely to catch up with her and meet her fiancé Richard. They're set to be married in August and she's got everything planned already. She was telling me about some of the things that's happened since we last saw each other, like her job as a tour guide, how she gets to dress up in old Jane Austen era dresses and do tours around the Pump Room, and around the Royal Crescent and other tourist attractions around the place. She is so excited for me that I've got the job as a research reporter, she told me to not forget her once I've won my Pulitzer… I had to laugh…

Me: a Pulitzer.. Puh-lease.

Right now I'm waiting for a text from Mary telling me they've arrived at the Musgrove's timeshare lodge so I can drive over and visit them all. In the meantime I'm downing as much junk food as I can consume, writing a paper (one of my last ones too!) for uni, and procrastinating on writing said paper by writing in this diary.

I'll deny if ever I'm asked, but this whole diary thing has gotten kind of therapeutic for me. I feel normal. Like the blank page is a long-suffering friend (much like my iPod) who doesn't mind me spewing all my thoughts onto them. It's a nice feeling.

It's definitely helped with the Fred department at least, I really feel like a load has been lifted now that I'm not bottling it all up all the time. I bottled up for five years, this is so much better.

Eugh, Liz just came in and announced they're hosting a party here next weekend for the Musgrove's and Crofts to meet everyone dad and Liz know here in Bath. Apparently dad and Liz have gotten pretty close to one of dad's old work friends, some older actress named Margaret Dalrymple, who Liz has described as "the other Maggie Smith", despite the fact I've never heard of her; then there's her step-daughter Connie who is Liz's age, married to a film producer and apparently likes to do nothing but spend money.

It's like a marriage of minds there.

Oh, speaking of dad and marriage (not Penelope's 'super-secretive plan to try to marry dad', but that's another story…) he HAS accepted an acting role.

I know. Colour me very, very shocked.

He's playing an evil guy in some 'good guy versus bad guy' film with lots of guns, shooting and fake blood. He's so excited to be working on a lucrative film though, apparently it's based on some best-selling American book.

Just a semi-non-sequitur here: why are the British people always portrayed as villains in American movies?! I mean, Die Hard has Alan Rickman being the bad guy, and whenever there's a bad foreign guy in crime fiction novels like John Grisham or James Patterson, it's often a British person! I call unfair! Clearly the bad guys are Western European like in our films.

So yes, dad's begun work on a new film, Liz is playing hostess whilst she's waiting for the Summer fashions to come out. Me I'm employed, graduating soon and gearing up to tell Fred that I still love him.

I'm going to tell him. This week. Yes. I am.


	42. Chapter 42

**Author's Note:**

As of November 2nd I shall be halfway through my education degree! Whoop, whoop! Life is now freeing me up to write, so I shall be able to update a little more frequently! =D

Don't forget to read and review you lovely intelligent readers.

**April 21****st****, 2012 (evening)**

Camden Place, Bath

Well all the Musgrove's have made it to Bath. Dad, Liz and I going out to lunch tomorrow with them since they arrive late this afternoon and the boys were long overdue for a nap, so I didn't end up going over to visit.

Plus I'm not sure I wanted to go around and have to deal with people commenting on my running clothes. Or my running.

Hannah messaged me earlier and asked if I could go dress shopping with her after lunch, since I know the layout of Bath better, and know where the good dress shops are.

In other news, I tore out the real estate guide from the newspaper today. There's a small apartment over in Bristol that looks pretty good, only I'm not sure that I want to leave dad and Liz to their own devices, it's not as though I want them to go back to being in debt because neither or them have any idea on how to save money.

Plus it beats moving to Penzance. *insert a vicious shudder here*

I've never recovered from that time when I was seventeen and Jean and I went to go see a Pirates of Penzance production done by an amateur dramatic group. The pants (leggings!) of the Pirate King split as they were doing Cat Like Tread and for the rest of the song the entire audience had a rather impressive view of this guy's… thong.

It was pink. Hot pink. I've never been able to go to the underwear section in any store since and not think of that disturbing mental image when I see the g-strings on the racks.

Pink underwear has never been bought since that day either.

Thinking about Penzance brings it up too. So that's definitely out in regards to real estate.

I'm actually so indecisive about the whole thing. I do want to move out and be independent and own (or rent) my own place that's just for me; but I don't want to leave dad and Liz. They're family.

If I were to move out on my own I wouldn't want it to be anywhere near dad's place though, my house would merely become a storage room for their stuff and I don't want that. I want to have space to stack my mountains of novels, a place for my huge DVD collection and a wardrobe that just has my clothes in it. Not boxes of crap that belong to other people.

I think I will look at that place over in Bristol. No minds made up yet. I'm going into this thing with me leaving all my options open.


	43. Chapter 43

**Author's Note:**

Two new chapters in one hit so far (as opposed to my original 32 in one day..) you lucky readers!

Don't forget to read and review you lovely intelligent readers.

**April 22****nd****, 2012 (evening)**

Camden Place, Bath

My feet. My poor, poor feet.

I definitely underestimated the sort of shopping Hannah wanted to do today. I figured we would try a couple of high-end dress shops, see if she liked any gowns for both herself and bridesmaids, maybe look at some jewellery and possibly shoes for the wedding.

Oh no. that doesn't even come close to summarising what we managed to fit into this afternoon's spree. First off we did look at wedding and bridesmaids gown (in every store within a ten mile radius.)… And jewellery and shoes… plus visiting makeup artists and hair dressers and florists and caterers and cake specialists and wedding planners and photography studio and even one of the local church ministers to look into being the celebrant.

I tell you, it didn't end there. Sadly once Hannah had exhausted all avenues of planning details for her own wedding she decided she was going to ensure that I had something to wear to it too.

So after having visited every formal dress shop in town, I've also visited 90% of the stores that stock less formal ladies wear.

The amount of dresses she made me try on could probably rival the amount of dresses Liz has worn for modelling.

Liz is a model. That number is pretty high.

Some were kind of cute, that fashion of having a dress that's shorter at the front and longer at the back (a veritable mullet dress!) is coming into style, but I don't think it suits me. I'm a little too short to pull it off…

I did find this cute bright blue dress though. I couldn't tell you what it was made out of, but it was pretty. It was knee length and floaty and didn't make my hips look like huge, plus it showed a little cleavage (not that I have any). The only issue I took with it was that it cost almost 300 pounds. What the hell is a dress worth that much doing in a store like that?

The lady at the desk said they were marking down their current stock on Wednesday to make way for new summer arrivals, so I may just go back and see what they bump it down to (if it's still there that is).

I should probably mention the lunch too whilst I'm here.

What has 7 letters, begins with "A" and ends with "wkward"? The definition of LUNCH is what.

Due to people claiming seats next to their respective partners and/or children (or in the case of dad and Liz, the seats where they could be seen and hold conversations without inconveniencing themselves) I ended up on the end of the table, right next to a one Frederick Wentworth who was sitting right next to me with nothing but a corner of the huge table separating us. There was no friendly chit-chat or banter or any conversation of any type. Aside from a "could you please pass me the basket of bread rolls, thanks" there was an air of… something preventing either of us from initiating an actual conversation.

All around the conversations flowed and ebbed like at every extended family luncheon. It was a mixture of people who hadn't seen each other in a while combined with people who saw each other yesterday who always manage to have something new to talk about.

As well as Fred I was also sitting next to Mary who was holding Ava. At a couple of weeks old, she was already looking around with her eyes and peering around at her surroundings. Since I ate fairly quickly I offered to hold onto Ava to let Mary finish eating, which then made way for the "when do you think you'll settle down and start a family Annie?" topic.

Why did I offer to take charge of Ava?! Oh yeah, I'm still clucky.

But I'm still single. At that point I was still sitting next to my ex-fiancé. It was still incredibly awkward.

But still wishing things turned out differently.

Lunch ended quite amicably, and then I left with Hannah to do that insane shopping spree…

I know this is going to sound so incredibly wrong and weird, but sitting next to Fred, and holding Ava… I just, I wish I had that. My own little family. I shouldn't entertain the thought, but Fred's babies would be cute. Good genetics and all.

I'm only 25, but.. I'm already 25. I want to start a family. I want Fred, I want to tell him I love him still.

I keep saying I'm going to tell him. It's so much easier to say it than it is to do it.


	44. Chapter 44

**Author's Note:**

Make that THREE new for one night!

PLEASE don't forget to R&R! thankyou!

**April 25****th****, 2012 (mid afternoon)**

The Musgrove's timeshare lodge, just outside Bath

I got the dress. Blue, floaty fabric and cleavage all for 50 pounds.

Yup, that dress was marked down by 250 pounds because no one else had ever looked at it. Not that I care overly much, because I am now the proud owner of the perfect dress for Hannah's wedding.

In other news, I've handed in the last of my assignments and now with my fast-tracked degree, I am now technically a graduate!

To celebrate this Hannah, Lucy, their boyfriends, Fred, Sophie and Adrian are taking me out tonight for drinks. It should be pretty fun, I'm just hoping to avoid the awkwardness of being one half of the people in that group who isn't in a relationship…

I chickened out. I'm never going to pluck up the courage to tell him I love him. Let's be honest about this here, the one place I can be candid and 100% honest. As much as it's been 'ohh, there's something between us still and people are noticing the chemistry' sort of vibe I get, chances are pretty high he's still not okay with the fact I broke his heart, tore it to pieces and stomped on it because I didn't have the courage to stand up to my family and do the things I really wanted to do.

I guess we'll see what happens tonight…

Speaking of tonight, I really want to ask Lucy how she and James.. Happened. It was so sudden and I think I got a bit of mental whiplash there. One minute she's after Fred (or at least I thought she was) and the next she's attached to the.. Anti-Fred; a computer whiz who not long ago was brooding more than a flock of chickens.

Now it's like a complete transformation on his part, he smiles, he's social and he's not sitting in the corner reading some manic-depressive novel on vampires and sadistic romances. Lucy is different as well; out of the twins she's always been the more outgoing one, but ever since that incident in Lyme when Hannah first announced her engagement, she's cooled off a fair bit.

I'm going to put on my investigative hat and find out the facts! Just like any other journalist out hunting for the big scoop.

You know, except I'm not some flimsy gossip queen writing for the front page news on trash mags.

I really want to know how that happened!

I also really want to drink my brains out tonight to blitz out the awkwardness that I know is most likely going to ensue in these following hours. I haven't been drunk in over five years, and was dating Fred at the time… (the things that happened that evening are most certainly not appropriate for any reader, regardless of age and maturity level and therefore no detail will be discussed, aside from the fact that I admit that we did a LOT of things. Like each other. I did not just say that. I will deny that if anyone asks.)

Drink or delve into the mysteries of Lucy and James.

Dilemma.


	45. Chapter 45

**Author's Note:**

FOUR new for one night! I am on a ROLL!

PLEASE don't forget to R&R! thankyou!

**April 26****th****, 2012 (mid morning)**

Camden Place, Bath

So last night I ended up coming to a compromise on my dilemma, I got a bit tipsy and then demanded that Lucy tell me how she and James got together.

Story alert! Story alert! Story alert!

I'll get to that in a moment though, but last night was so weird! I saw the guy that I shared the My Little Pony moments with, the married one, and turns out he knows my dad via Margaret Dalrymple whom he does some accounting stuff for.

Small world huh?

In other more pressing matters, I can't say for certain, but I think I may have danced with Fred last night.

I don't really remember much of the latter part of the evening, once I got the big scoop I decided to cut loose and drink whatever I could pronounce.

My vocab is significantly larger than one might suspect.

I'm quite surprised about the lack of a hangover though. I have the occasional wine or champagne, but I definitely went over my personal limit last night…

I do remember that I pulled someone I know out to dance… I just can't remember who it was… I also know that it was definitely someone from our group.

I think it was Fred, I'm about 70% certain on that one. 10% leeway granted to the 3 other guys in our group.

Oh no.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Okay, rather than go on about this I'm going to segue back to Lucy and James now.

So it turns out that after the whole Lyme, car, engagement reaction incident, Lucy and James got to talking about how they never seemed to be in luck when it comes to love, she's had a few boyfriends, but they weren't in it seriously, they just wanted some fun, and with Hannah getting engaged, it just flipped a switch and Lucy wanted to have the same. Since Lucy's never really gone for the type of guy that Robb and James are, she thought that maybe she should do as her twin did and look at different types of guys that she was used to dating, and them BAM, James.

James' story is a lot more sombre, and since I don't know him well enough, I just don't feel okay with spewing his whole story on here. I'll give you the censored, short version that I hope won't cause any grief…

Ever since high school, James had been dating one girl, they were destined to be high school sweethearts turned happily ever after couple, except after they graduated, she fell in with the wrong crowd during summer and they split once she made a few life choices (okay, she started up on drugs). He however still loved her and was merely waiting for her to come back. About a year ago she was driving into London with a new boyfriend, they were both blitzed out on something toxic and they crashed, neither of them surviving.

Any and all past, present and future doom and gloom vibes from that boy have been thoroughly justified.

Anyways, after I had left Lyme with Mary and Charles, after Lucy and Hannah had made up, Lucy had still been feeling miserable and got to talking to James during the remainder of their trip. Life stories poured out and they somehow ended up snogging on the beach one evening.

So that mystery has been solved. Now to work out the other one.

Investigative query: who did I dance with last night?

Known facts: despite the haze of alcohol I am mostly certain it was from our social group, narrowing the possibilities down to 4 males. 3 of those males are in committed relationships and one that I was in a committed relationship with once upon a time.

I think I'm just going to have to ask someone who was there last night.


	46. Chapter 46

**Author's Note:**

FIVE new for one night! #BOOM

PLEASE don't forget to R&R! thankyou!

**April 26****th****, 2012 (afternoon)**

Camden Place, Bath

Can a person die of awkwardness?

Because I feel as though I should.

There's a video. Of me. Dancing. Dancing quite provocatively. Me dancing quite provocatively with my ex-fiancé.

THERE'S A VIDEO OF ME DIRTY DANCING WITH FRED!

Don't get me wrong, it's not a porno looking video. It's more like two drunk people clumsily trying to dance and the results being filmed by people who were equally as drunk. Though it does give way to a bit of groping and being bumped into by random strangers.

Lucy filmed it and I'm not entirely sure if the other guys remember what happened, or if they've been privy to this footage.

I did however have the sense to make her pinkie swear to not show it or mention it to anyone.

Which of course led to her asking why, since there was no harm in it since we were both single.

I told her everything. _Everything_, everything. Our past, the engagement, me breaking it off, me being pretty sure he's never going to forgive me et cetera, et cetera. Everything.

So aside from you dear future reader, there is one more person to add the short list of people that know about Fred and I.

I actually feel so good to have told someone, Lucy was kind of shocked when I told her, she had thought that maybe there was something developing between us now, not that something had already occurred.

I may have also admitted that I still really liked him. After she finished 'awwww'ing at me she snickered at me. She snickered! Who snickers outside of novels and films? It's such an obscure thing, but she definitely snickered. She wrinkled up her nose and laughed at me through it. How does that sound even come out of a cute face like hers.

SNICKERING!

That woman snickered at me and my long-suffering love life.

I.. really don't blame her.

But she has a video of me. So I'm not going to get on her bad side and tell her that snickering is a very unattractive thing for her to do.

I DID get her to Bluetooth me a copy of the video though. I promise I will not sit on the edge of my bed psycho-analysing every movement.

No really. I promise.

**(35 minutes after my last post)**

Camden Place, Bath

Yeah, yeah, okay, you got me. I LIED. I BROKE MY SACRED OATH.

I watched it 3 times over.

BUT there was no psycho-analyses. I merely… closely watched what happens.

I really drunkenly pulled some moves on him too. I mean, there's the flinging of my arms around his neck and swaying (very drunkenly I should add) to the beat of the music whilst in very close proximity to him. Then there was the part where I literally hoisted myself onto him even more whilst he wrapped his arms around me. There wasn't any kissing, but really… it didn't look like we were far off.

We were so, so, so very drunk.

And what made the whole thing worse was that the song blaring as we danced was one that inexplicably reminded me of him the first time I heard it. Because a song that's called "Dedication to my Ex" really couldn't have a more fitting title. Unless of course you wanted to title that song "the bitch who broke my heart" which would be a tad more apt, but appeals to a smaller demographic…

Hmm.


	47. Chapter 47

**Author's Note:**

I have 3 days until my last exam and then I am done for the year! Woop woop!

Due to the shortness of these entries, I've decided to have two-in-one for you (something that isn't my usual forte…)

PLEASE don't forget to R&R! thankyou!

* * *

**April 27****th****, 2012 (mid-morning)**

Musgrove's timeshare

No one knows. It appears that either our party from the other night have selective memories, were blitzed out enough on alcohol to not have remembered…or they're being kind to me and saving the shreds of my reputation and not bringing it up.

I don't know which option I prefer.

I'm currently hiding out in the front dining room of this huge lodge. I'm not hiding per say, more like avoiding the company to be found in Camden Place and avoiding selective persons currently being housed in the lodge.

I'm giving Alice a piano lesson soon, she's currently outside blowing bubbles with all the other kids whilst I 'finish' writing up my employment details on the Atlanti-Tech web-thing.

I am doing it.. I'm just alternating between filling out a section and writing in this, it's just so BORING.

The sun feels amazing! It's streaming right onto my back and neck. Perfectly position for a morning diary write up.

Still can't and don't believe that no one has brought up the other night. Nope. I bet they're all just waiting for the right moment to pull up the projector and drive in cinema with free bowls of popcorn and I'll be reliving that memory on the big screen.

They're just waiting for the right moment to strike. Take me unawares.

I've changed my mind about finding a place of my own, for now at least. I don't want to leave. No one has been at home of late anyways, what with dad away acting, and Liz doing her photo shoots.

Plus it'd be nice for me to have a place to call home that's already set up. I hate furniture shopping.

Okay, I have to go back to AT stuff now…

* * *

**April 27****th****, 2012 (post lunch)**

Musgrove's timeshare lodge

Piano lesson: completed

Baby taken off hysterical mother and soothed accordingly: done

Continue to hold now sleeping baby whilst consoling hysterical mother: done

Handed off the responsibility of hysterical mother to baby's father: done

Hold sleeping baby whilst keeping out of everyone's way: in progress

She may be tiny, but I still cannot fathom how babies manage to get out. I KNOW how they get out, but that amount of pain… the stretch. Ow.

I think that despite the cluckiness I feel, I'll stick with babysitting for now.

Besides Ava's cute. And cuddly.

I keep feeling as though I'm being watched, not the kind of feeling that comes with a chill breeze, a shiver running up or down a spinal cord or whatever else writers use to describe being watched. It was much more of an.. Awareness. Like I was aware that there was someone, or several someones watching me.

Perhaps I'm going insane. It's either that or the mother ship has finally decided to get into contact with me and send me back to my home planet.

At this point.. With the dancing the other night, and the insanity that is my entire family.. I'd almost take the latter option.

Although going insane does have its appeal.

Whup. Baby is waking up. I repeat we have eye-opening action. Code I-have-an-awake-baby!

I'm going to sign off now and entertain said awake baby and make sure her younger brothers, who are playing near my feet under the table don't make her upset…

Adios!


	48. Chapter 48

**Author's Note:**

Wow! Since my last update I have finished uni for the year, found some useful employment and even had the time to write!

A huge thankyou to the authors of the 19 reviews I have gotten so far! Authors thrive on feedback, and I am no different. So many thanks to those who have so far, and for those yet to come!

Now in this chapter where I describe Fred's hate of surprises I used some examples from my own life (I despise surprises, and I did/do all three of the things I wrote below to avoid being surprised (wikipedia-ing movies and books, flipping to the last chapter, I used to fast forward when VHS was still around…) etc. so no picking on that trait. That is real.

PLEASE don't forget to R&R! thankyou!

**April 27****th****, 2012 (afternoon)**

Musgrove's Timeshare

Mary is a saint. Every bad thing I have ever said about her, I take back. She managed to get both boys down for a nap in less than five minutes without there being any mass hysteria or tears. THEN she manages to get Ava back to sleep, THEN she manages to kick out Charles, who was napping on the couch and made him go out for a run with Harry Harville who wanted a running partner.

This is her husband Charles. Notorious never-wakes-up-napper extraordinaire. She managed to wake him up. Then managed to make him move.

No one else understands the wonder-woman moment my baby sister just had. There should be songs sung about her victories this day.

I may be the forever middle child, but I am so proud of my baby sister right now.

She has done it all before her 23rd birthday. Yup, she's got so many up on me I am putting her up on a pedestal.

Okay fine, so back onto the me- me- me of life, because I require some attention too.. I figured out who was watching me (remember the feeling I got.. The whole non-spine shivers and all…). It was Sophie and Adrian. Yup, yup. I kid you not.

It wasn't the creepy 'I'm watching you from underneath a rock" Cruella de Vil sort of observation. It was more curious glance with a touch of 'I know what you did the other night and I'm trying to reconcile this woman and the crazy dancing girl that was dancing with my brother/-in-law'.

I.. am trying my utmost hardest to not read too much into this. I mean we were all drinking. Heck, Lucy and Hannah started a 'how low can you go?' competition sometime after midnight.

I nearly won that too, by the way.

But then again Lucy and Hannah weren't the ones who ended up grinding it up with Fred.

That was all me.

Speaking of the guy, he's been suspiciously absent today. I mean he was here for lunch, but before and after that meal he's practically barricaded himself in his room putting it out that he needs to work on some blueprints.

Blueprints schmlueprints. He is avoiding being near me.

Does he remember the other night? Is he disgusted by it. Is he actually hiding from _me _or am I just reading waaaaaaay too much into things and he's more dedicated to his work than anyone else.

But then you have to think it'd be far easier to work on blueprint sheets if they're laid out on a table, like the kitchen table, or the dining table… or the study room one that I'm using right now.

I'm going into my last few days of freedom before I head to London for my induction at Atlanti-Tech and I don't want this (whatever THIS is) to still be up between Fred and I when I leave. I want this sorted. I want it over and done with and I (am a little bit embarrassed to say) just want to snog his brains out. I mean, after everything I've put him through, I'm selfish enough to still want him in my life.

Does that make me a bad person, or just a lonely one?!

Either way that has the making of an indestructibly awesome super villain.

Not that I have superpowers or anything.

Except maybe the ability to drive away good looking males.

Fred's 26th Birthday is in a few days (the 7th of May) and the Musgrove's and Crofts are currently organising a big surprise birthday for him, only it's hardly a surprise because Mrs Musgrove keeps talking about it when he's nearby. Probably for the best though, Fred hates surprises. He's the kind of guy that will Wikipedia a movie before he watches it, so he knows what to expect. He also flips to the last chapter of a book he's about to start reading and reads the last chapter first so he knows who is good, bad, dies etc. Heck, he even once admitted he waited for the VHS of Fern Gully to come out because he wanted to be able to fast forward to the end before he, Sophie and their other brother Edward watched it from the start.

He definitely doesn't do surprises.

Which makes me wonder what he would do if I got up, went to his room right now and planted one on him…

That'd probably kill him.


	49. Chapter 49

**Author's Note:**

Firstly I would like to congratulate you on making it this far. This applies to those of you who have read this from the start, rather than clicking that "" button… I also would like to apologise for my absence, work got busy, and then summer school started over a month earlier than I was expecting (1st Nov rather than 1st Jan 2013).. So I've been trying to keep up with that and I was house sitting and I joined a gym etc etc. I head to Melbourne in the morning for a shopping trip and thought I should post this chapter before I left; since you've been so patient as to wait.

now Anne's dating profile in this one is taken directly from obscure traits of mine, i CAN skull orange juice sans vom. be glad i didn't include "can burp the alphabet backwards." because i can do that one too.

This particular one is a day's worth of entries: it's 4 regular entries in the one chapter because (I'm lazy) I wanted to make up for my absence.

This story is winding down now and I don't expect it to be much longer before I finish! Hopefully (muse allowing this) I will have another update for you when I get back, so check here again around the 15th dec or so!

Don't forget to read and review you adorable bunch of austenites!

* * *

**April 28****th****, 2012 (morning)**

Camden Place, Bath

I just…. I just wanna go back to sleep.

But you know when you wake up super early and you're definitely awake, but all you want to do is go back to sleep because it is far too early and no one else is awake anyways.

Well that's me this morning.

It's 5am. I woke up about 15 minutes ago, and after rolling around trying to get back to sleep I'm giving up. Some people say that when you wake up like this that someone is dreaming about you. Well they need to stop dreaming about me and let me sleep!

Then again one of my classmates from my English degree once told me that waking up at an early hour was a sign that there was something going on in your life that you needed to give to God (she was a Christian, but not one of those crazy bible-thumping guys that are always door-knocking at ridiculous hours, she also had a point too. At that point I was up at all hours because it wasn't that long after what happened with Fred…)

Either way. I am awake.

I usually get up about 5.30-6ish for my run, so I'm going to stay under the covers until then.

Liz is going to Prague this afternoon for a modelling gig and dad flies out for Los Angeles tonight, so they're heading to Heathrow airport about lunchtime, and since I'll be at work in London when they get back, today is a sort-of goodbye-for-now.

Hm, it's almost 10 past now, it takes me about 5 minutes to get ready for my run and then another 5 to warm up properly. So if I get up now I'll be ready to run about half past (which is when I'm normally waking up for my run.) do I get up now or not?!

Nope. I'll wait. I can't be bothered moving just yet.

I have been told that Adrian, Fred, Charles and James have been going for morning runs as well around Bath, but I've yet to encounter them. I like to think the only reason I haven't yet is because they're running so far behind me and I just manage to outrun with my epically fast pace. In reality they probably go out at a more appropriate hour (like 6.30am), like everyone else here.

It rained last night so it's likely to be fairly cold this morning, which means that half the regular runners won't bother this morning, which leaves the streets and paths even more deserted than they already were.

I personally prefer these colder post-rain mornings. There's just something about the way that the cold air hits me that makes me want to just keep running (Dementor, Dementor!).

Okay, it's ticking closer to half past now, I'm going to get up, out of bed and get ready.

**April 28****th****, 2012 (a more decent hour of the morning)**

Camden Place, Bath

So you know how I said before that I hadn't encountered the guys on my morning runs?

Well, it was a hilarious coincidence (possibly fate or Karma) that I did today. Right after I said I hadn't.

I was taking a shortcut between streets to get to the park where I normally go and hey presto! There they were! Turns out we were all heading the same direction, so I joined them until we hit the park (in which I then left them to eat my dust!) but it was just so… I don't know. Weird?

I wore decent looking running gear today (not my baggy t-shirt) so I looked the part of a professional runner all decked out in my puffy vest, leggings and sweatband keeping the frizz out of my eyes.

Then they were all looking at me, then I could have sworn they all sent looks at Fred when I crouched down to tie my left shoelace (which I stupidly hadn't done a double knot for). Oh jeepers, they know. They must know. Or else they don't know and they have plans to set us up.

I don't know I am so confused. Why can't things stop being confusing and just.. Make sense.

Why am I so convinced that everyone knows everything?

Is this premonition or paranoia?

Either way, I ran faster then them all.

I just had breakfast with dad and Liz and their heads are full of their upcoming trips. Dad's asked us whether or not there's anything he can bring back from Hollywood for us, and Liz's head is just full of clothes and how high the heels she'll be put in will be.

Me, I'm was just trying to eat in peace.

Relative peace. I can compromise.

After dad and Liz have flown out I'm locking up the place for them, and Penelope will be staying with some friend of hers whilst I bunk on the couch at the Musgrove's for a couple of nights.

Hmm. I'm starting to get nervous about starting work, They're putting me into a hotel room for a few weeks, then I fly out to one of their research ships in the Atlantic, moored just south of Spain.

I'm going to literally be on a boat in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by sciencey guys and sailors.

Surrounded by _guys._

Not sure if I should be looking forward to this, or dreading it.

That sounds so sexist, I'm sure there's _some_ women in the team

**April 28****th****, 2012 (post-seeing dad and Liz off at the airport)**

Small café in Bath

I thought I'd escape the insanity for a while. Get out of the house and all. Get away from people and familiar faces.

If I'm leaving for work in a few days I need to be prepared to not see familiar faces. Plus I'm a complete coward and I cant bear to see Fred after what happened after my last update.

I don't even know where to _begin_ on that front. I mean. how? Why? WHAT?

Lucy.

I'm just going to hope her name passes as an explanation of what happened.

At least until I stop being so embarrassed by it all.

I'm literally sitting in this hard café chair squirming right now.

Okay. I can do this.

So I have told Lucy about everything to do with Fred and I. In a moment of weakness, I told her all about us, and what I did… well, she had to say something aloud, to me; in front of everybody.

That woman is going to kill me. Or I'm going to kill her. Either option is open still.

Okay, so obviously I'm going to have to spell it out for you all, since you don't have access to my memories…

This is basically a transcript of what happened… I refuse to elaborate, exaggerate (or any number of E words) on the following.

Me: "So I'm leaving on Tuesday, you guys are here until the fourth aren't you?"

Mrs Musgrove: "Yes, hope you don't mind, but Monday, we're having a huge dinner here for you, a send-off if you will."

Me: "Woah, that's so lovely of you!"

Lucy: "well, we've got to give you a few things as well, we can't have you working out in the middle of the ocean without some home comforts."

Mrs Musgrove: "Like those sea sickness pills, biscuits, and not to mention some things for your birthday!"

Me: "I'll probably be back by the time my birthday rolls around!"

Lucy: "Don't ruin our fun Annie-bear, it's happening. We're having food and presents for you, and with any luck we'll find you a boyfriend before you leave so you'll be inclined to come back. Surely there's someone here in Bath, or even in back in Uppercross we can set you up with?"

This was then followed by a hip nudge, a wink then she tilted her head to behind me… _**where Fred was sitting with Hannah, Robb, Mary and Charlies.**_ I could have hit her. I could have died from the embarrassment.

They weren't even sitting five metres away and despite the fact they were playing with Mark and Ryan, I'm pretty sure they were eavesdropping.

I'm getting second-hand embarrassment from just writing about it.

Which is why I'm hiding out in a little café, enjoying the post-lunch lull and enjoying the peace and quiet.

But I'm mostly just hiding.

Except I'm pretty sure I just saw Adrian and Fred just walk into this very café. Head down, head down. Do not engage, repeat do. Not. Engage.

They saw me. Look busy, look very busy, type, type fast, typing with a serious look on my face, tapping away on the keyboard. Might as well have a sticky not with DO NOT DISTURB written on it on my forehead. I am the model of professionalism. I have two degrees under my belt, I am a professional career woman and nothing can unsettle me. Nothing, nope.

I can see Adrian coming over out of the corner of my eye. Must act as though I am oblivious, what I am typing is rather important and requires my full attention and I haven't caught onto the fact that he is trying to get my attention, must not look away from screen. Nope. Adrian. Stop. don't come closer you'll be ruining my incredibly important train of thought and if I lose this muse I shall be forever ruined career wise and I will have the ability to blame you.

Crap. Never mind. He said hello, no getting out of this now.

**April 28****th****, 2012 (post-encounter)**

Still in the small café in Bath

Whatever entity is in control of my life, I am pretty sure they just enjoy throwing me curveballs. Nice big ones with spikes and hard surfaces that enjoy catching me in the face. Metaphorically of course; but I do kind of feel as though I've been whacked in the face with a basketball or something.

Of all things to discuss, Adrian came over to ask whether or not getting a commissioned painting for Hannah and Robb's engagement would be an appropriate gift.

Short answer is.. I don't know!

He has this friend who does life paintings and stuff, he also does portraits taken either from real life, or from photos, and he was thinking of getting a painting done for them.

It's kind of a cute idea, but with the whole world going digital, and Robb being the computer geek that he is, would an old fashioned water colour painting be a good idea, or a subtle insult to technology?

Again, I don't know.

Somehow we got onto the topic of relationships, and how Adrian was surprised that the whole online dating thing took off like a rocket. He couldn't see the point of online match-making websites and thought the whole 'algorithm' business was rubbish, and that pairing people up as compatible based solely on their claimed interests was no way of summarising their character. I told him he had a fair point, and that those sorts of things were just marketing strategies, but also that it took a fairly confident and brave person to use such websites and be completely honest in what they're looking for in a partner, and that it opens up a whole other community of people in which to search for partners from.

This was then followed by him asking me if I used any of them, to which my reply was merely a laugh and say nope. Which is true. I made a profile on matchmaker-maths once, it never got any hits, despite the fact they claimed to have over 100,000 members. So I deleted it and pretended it never happened.

I mean, let's be honest here, "21 year old female, petite, loves action movies, Shakespeare, Disney and comic books, can quote every line in Harry Potter, can skull a 2L bottle of orange juice in under 3 minutes (without puking afterwards) and owns an expansive movie collection" doesn't appear to be appealing to the male gender as a first impression. Probably should have thought that one through a tad more thoroughly.

Eh, it's done now. It was over 4 years ago.

And I certainly didn't admit any of that to Adrian or his very silent companion.

Then they left, their coffee order was finished, and they said their see-you-laters. I mean, I will be seeing them in a few hours since I'm crashing on the couch at the Musgrove mansion.

I think I may pack up now and enjoy a slow walk back to Camden Place. Penelope had her things packed up and had left before Liz and dad headed to the airport, so I just have to pack my things up and then head on over to the Musgrove's…

Such fun.

**April 28****th****, 2012 (late evening)**

Musgrove's time-share mansion

I don't understand why couches need to be so narrow. I may be small, but if this thing wasn't one of those pull out bed/couch things I would be rather uncomfortable sleeping on such a thing. It also has the downside of being right next to the kitchen, so any midnight snackers will probably wake me up.

I don't care if there's any of Mrs Musgrove's famous chocolate cake in that fridge (there's about 2/3rds of a cake left), if anyone wakes me up at 3am as they cut a slice I may hurt something.

Unless they cut me a slice and bring it over to me with a glass of cold milk. Then I might be appeased.

I'm like the kitchen guardian. One must sacrifice an offering for safe passage.

Man, I'm hilarious late at night. I should run my own late-night comedy TV show. I would be prime time television and everyone would love me. I'm like a comedy gremlin. I'm super serious by daylight, but as the day comes to a close all my hilarity, sarcasm and wit comes out to play.

I'm also incredibly modest at this time of day too. One of my better qualities I think.

Oh yes, I should be a great comedy proficient.

This is how I'm spending my third last night as a free woman. Sitting on a pull out sofa, drinking orange juice and writing in my diary. Hardcore.

I should also note that during this time I find myself hilarious. If I wasn't concerned about waking everyone up I would be cackling madly like I've gone insane… Which I may well have.


	50. Chapter 50

**Author's Note:**

Welcome to penultimate chapter austenites! We're so very close to the finale, and my many thanks for sticking around to read, or even just clicking on this story to begin with..

Don't forget to leave a review J. (even if it's flames! I promise I can handle them!)

* * *

**April 29****th****, 2012 (morning)**

Musgrove's mansion

Does anyone else ever feel like they might never regain the use of important neck muscles?! I mean after sleeping on a futon with your neck propped up against the sidearm of the sofa.

My advice - don't do it. Despite the fact it feels comfortable at the time; the pain afterwards is most certainly NOT worth it. I wonder if I can wrangle a neck massage out of anyone…

Breakfast first though. Since tomorrow will be my last day here I have plans to make a spectacular breakfast tomorrow. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausages, toast, freshly squeezed orange juice (from the bottle), coffee, hot chocolates and all other fine delicacies of the breakfast menu.

Yes, I intend to go out into the world remaining in everyone's good books.

But for now, I'm going to have to focus on getting rid of the crick in my neck.

See there's something comforting about cuddling up in the corner of a sofa bed, the way the back rest and the arm rest kind of join up to make a right angle that feels strangely safe to nestle into. Like a hug. A not so human hug that gives a false sense of security as to the long terms comfort levels.

Sleeping in the arms of an actual person never leaves neck cricks like this.

I may have not had much experience in developing a study into this, the past 5 odd years have been spent with my hugging the corner of my pillows rather than the faded old t-shirt worn by an unfairly attractive guy who just happens to have nice muscles underneath said shirt.

Why do I keep coming back to Fred? Isn't it obvious by now he feels nothing for me anymore? Why does he keep popping up in conversations between us women folk? I don't bring him up, but whenever he's out of the room someone always remarks about him, and I'm always physically smack-bang in the middle of the two (or more) conversationalists and I'm stuck with joining in.

Don't get me wrong, he's a decent enough person to talk about, you know, ridiculously good looks, successful architect, good looking, rich, nice face, body that you really just want to rub your hands all over and…

SEE. Always. Fred. Mind. I don't understand.

Maybe it's the secret of the universe. Maybe today my thoughts are on him because somehow he magically has the key to providing me relief from the hellish neck pains.

Hmm. We shall see.

**April 29****th****, 2012 (still morning)**

Musgrove's mansion

Turns out, Fred wasn't the magical key to pain relief. He was the mother freaking pain relief.

This one requires a little bit of explanation and I shall attempt to do so with minimal embellishment.

Yeah no. I cant even start this without an embellishment.

'_It was a blustery morning that day in the mansion. The high ceilings proving an escape for the heat, leaving the occupants below in a state of cold__…_'

Bet you're glad I'm not writing about colours and what-not. Those pesky English teachers like to think that every tiny detail in a novel or any story is deeply symbolic and relates to the author's state of mind, whether it be subconscious or not.

I bet most authors just sit there, writing away with their work, only realising _afterwards_ that their works of art are literally being ripped apart in attempts to find a deeper, more spiritual meaning that indicates some level of self-hatred and a loathing of something personal.

Well let it be known, that if I say at any point that the sky is blue… I don't mean that I'm looking up at the sky with a feeling of… depression or peace or whatever. The sky will actually just be blue. Nothing more.

Alright, FINE. Back to the pain relief part.

I mentioned to Mrs Musgrove that my neck hurt, and she told Lucy and Hannah, who told Robb, who told Fred who was encouraged by Lucy to come use his masseuse skills (which I wasn't aware he had.) to fix me up.

Holy mother of.

Well, my neck's all better.

Daaaamn, that was awkward though. I spent the whole ten minutes he was digging his thumbs into my neck wishing I could just turn around and snog his face off whilst he continued fixing me. I'm pretty sure he could feel the tension in my neck. He probably thought I was trying to restrain myself from running away or something.

Little does he know…

Aside from helping me, he's spent much of this morning working on transferring the blueprint designs onto his laptop. He does this cute thing with his forehead when he cant get something to work properly. He gets the tiniest little crease right between his eyebrows… hmm.

I have less than 48 hours until I leave for London. My car is packed, although Mr Musgrove wants to double check the engine, oil, wheels and lights on my car before I go, especially since I've barely used it of late, what with carpooling with everyone.

I'm a bit sad to leave everyone, especially since they're all staying here until Friday. However, duty calls, and I'm legally obligated to be Atlanti-Tech's office by 2pm on the first.

Unless I'm dead, in which case all legal contracts are considered null and void.

That would be an appealing option if death wasn't so final.

But I don't have that ultimate reason to stay, and even if I did, I would still be required to go.

I am so conflicted and everything hurts.


	51. Chapter 51

**Author's Note:**

IT IS DONE. THIS IS IT. FINITE. 51.

My many thanks to the reviews, both already posted and those yet to come (yes, I am referring to YOURS). For those who are interested I've attached a song play list at the bottom of this chapter, it's a small list I compiled as I wrote PWC and songs I think fit in with various happenings through the story.

I'd also like to thank my long-suffering 5 year old Dell laptop, who has never crashed on me as it wrote this story. You are a champion among laptops.

Many thanks to you readers; without you, this story would have never made it to the internet. Or out of my head.

* * *

**April 5****th****, 2012 (early hours of the morning)**

My hotel room, London

There is so much to fill you guys in on.

This whole past week kind of just.. ZOOM.

I've had so much happen in these past seven days I just don't really know how to begin!

Let's just see if I can piece this whole timeline into something that will make sense to you all from my previous entry…

We covered the whole neck massage, and the fact I realised I didn't want to leave for London. Well, things got pretty interesting after that…

So, that whole day passed by as usual, there was a few notable conversations, arrivals (The Harville's and James came up to see us all) and I had a fairly notable conversation with one of our new arrivals (I'll get to that in a minute) and a few other minor (hilarious) things with James and Lucy 'kidnapping' Ava and pretending to be parents for a few hours…

Okay so everyone's hanging about the share house in the late afternoon, I'm sitting at the piano trying to work out how to play the theme song for Sherlock. Harry Harville came to listen to me fumbling over the keys, admitting that Molly got him into the show a couple months back, Fred is sitting behind me somewhere fiddling with some computer program that makes digital 3D models whilst Lucy, Hannah, their mother and Molly are discussing fabric swatches and dress styles at the other end of the room. Everyone else is doing their own thing about the house, Charles is playing with the boys outside with Mr Musgrove, Mary is giving Ava a bath upstairs and everyone else is around somewhere.

Out of the blue Harry pulls out something of his coat pocket. It's a small package wrapped in a silk handkerchief, he opens it up and there's a dainty little metal bracelet inside. Each link is tiny, and there's a tiny little sapphire heart embellishment opposite the clasp. He said it was an anniversary gift for Molly as it's their seventh wedding anniversary next week and he wasn't sure if she'd like it as much as he thought she would.

The guy's been married to the woman for seven years and still has doubts over whether or not she'd appreciate gifts from him. What an idiot.

I told him that too. He laughed and said he'd almost been scared off of buying presents for her because of all the movies he's seen of late have had jewellery gifts leading to a pile of unfavourable events. Like Love Actually when it was on at Christmas and Alan Rickman's character bought his wife a CD when he bought his other lady friend an expensive necklace and the wife thought the necklace was for her.

I also told him that any woman who's lucky enough to be in love will forever appreciate any nice thing her partner does for her, and even if their relationship gets shot to hell, she'll still love him, no matter how it all ended.

Admittedly at that point, my confession was aimed more towards the guy behind me, and in hindsight I know he was listening, but at that point I didn't. This is where the whole story falls together and it appears now that the universe has quite forgiven me.

Yes, looking at the sleeping pile of human beside me, the universe has _definitely_ forgiven me.

But we'll get back to the now later.

So Harry is yammering on about their wedding anniversary plans, I'm still trying to figure out the last few notes to Sherlock, the other ladies are still gushing over a cream silk-crepe swatch and a row of lace panels, Fred's gone absolutely silent and the world kind of… continues.

The rest of the afternoon and evening is spent fairly quietly, We have a huge roast dinner and we basically demolish a huge tub of ice cream afterwards, despite the fact it's only spring and it's still fairly cold out. Then it was bedtime.

Now the 30th is where things really start to pitch up. I was up at 5am, went on my usual run. Only I never really did make the full distance because Fred joined me when I was about 800 metres up the road. He was in his old sweats, puffed, chasing after me from the direction of the share house. For the few moments before he reached me I thought he was going to overtake me or something (which was a weird thought to have because the only reason I knew he was running behind me is because he called my name) but instead the plonker barrels right into me. We end up on a wet patch of grass, my back is soaked, I'm winded, he's got some crazed look in his eyes and then he does it.

He snogs me.

Not even one of those dainty first kisses, this one was a teeth-clanker. Not that I mind though, I kissed him back.

I don't really know how long we were on that patch of grass though, snogging, hands roving, the sun very slowly lightening the sky.

When we finally broke away I rested my forehead against his and just sat there. Cold, shivering and definitely the happiest person in the entire freaking world.

He told me he had overheard what I said to Harry the day before and realised that he still loved me, and didn't want me to leave for London without letting me know.

Hence the snogging.

There was a lot of talking after that. We both said our apologies, snogged some more, talked about where we were 'at', what we were going to do when we reached the share house, who we would tell…

A lot of talking, and nowhere nearly enough kissing.

But we made up for that. And a few other things. In a variety of ways.

So now we're here, in my rather large hotel room in London, a ten minute walk away from the Atlanti-Tech office. Fred's snoring beside me, and I couldn't sleep. Fred read all of this diary thing the day before yesterday, he cried. I cried because he cried and we ended up this massive ball of tears and regret.

(one positive thing came out of this though. The discover that make-up sex is fantastic.)

The Musgroves were all in cahoots together, turns out Lucy told Hannah about Fred and I and then it sort of.. Reached the _entire_ family. Including Mary, who cornered me before I left and was so mad at me for not telling her, then hugging me and telling me that if I don't appoint her matron of honour she'll disown me.

There was a lot of celebrating on the 30th. Then on the first, I had to leave, I didn't realise immediately that Fred intended to come with me. So that was a nice surprise. We're signing a lease for a house tomorrow, a nice 3 bedroom place with a small garden out the back. I told dad and Liz over the phone about Fred and I, and although I could tell they were still hesitant, they said they were okay with it, and dad gave his 'blessing' to us both, before asking if I could pick him up at Heathrow when he come back in a fortnight (I said I would).

So now we're… here. In a few short months my life has turned upside down, for the better, and become the most amazing thing ever.

I don't know what'll happen next. I guess you'll have to wait for the sequel.

Bye for now, not forever.

Anne Lucy Elliot.

**31****st**** December, 2012 (almost midnight!)**

Our house, London.

Wow, this document still exists! I had forgotten about it completely!

I figure it's only fair to end this whole thing on the last day of the year in which I started it. Otherwise the whole 'New Years Resolution' thing becomes moot point.

Can't have that.

Fred and I are great, fantastic actually. Everyone is doing really well. Jean and Richard got married earlier this year, Lucy and James are away in Ireland to meet his family, and dad and Liz are partying it up again at their place in Bath, and the Musgrove's are having an early one tonight, but having a huge lunch at their place tomorrow, to which Fred and I will travel up to Uppercross for.

Tonight it's just us… and Bump.

Probably should elaborate on the Bump. Not that the bump itself needs elaborating, that's pretty axiomatic. I'm only 10 weeks in, and no one knows but Fred and I (I told him yesterday), We're telling everyone tomorrow.

We're going to be smothered.

Oh and another juicy little tidbit that I can't help but add to the gossip: That Eli Rogers guy that knew my family, Facebook Guy? The one who was married and whose dad used to work for my dad.

WELL. Huge scandal unfolded there. Turns out he's been having an affair with Liz's friend Penelope for ages, and his wife found out and apparently there was this huge showdown outside dad's place (you know, since Penny had been living there to keep Liz company and all)

Glad I'm not part of that sitch.

Liz IS pretty upset though, she came to our house a few weeks back crying her mascara off and saying all of her friends suck and she needed a hug and a couch to sleep on that night.

I took her shopping the next day and she perked right up. I know how to make her happy.

Happy 2013.

* * *

**Playlist for reading and writing:**

Skinny Love - Birdie (cover)

You Know It's True - Jules Larson

Come and Find Me - Josh Ritter

In My Veins - Andrew Belle

Battle Scars - Guy Sebastian (feat. Lupe Fiasco)

In Your Arms - Kina Grannis

Payphone - Maroon 5

20 Good Reasons (acoustic) - Thirsty Merc

That Man - Caro Emerald

Let There Be Light (Main Theme) - Josh Beattie (from To Claire; From Sonny)

Light Surrounding You - Evermore

Elevator Love - Guy Sebastian

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

Waste Another Day - Brooke Fraser

Monday Tuesday Wednesday (I Love You)- Gossling (cover)

Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven

Cover On My Heart - Guy Sebastian

Brighter Than The Sun - Colbie Caillat

Dedication to my Ex (Miss That) - Lloyd (feat. Andre 3000)

Don't forget to review!


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